From London to New York
by brokenmoonlight
Summary: Howard finally snaps and a year later, Vince, unbeknowst to anyone else, is still struggling to cope. Will they ever reunite, or is it too late?
1. The End of an Era

**A/N: Firstly, I must apologise for the amount of angst in this chapter, and for how harsh Howard is, although I think he does have valid reasons (please don't throw things at me!). I was watching the series 3 DVD yesterday, looking at how Vince was compared with what he was like in series 1, and that, and something Noel said in the extras (the publicity tour bit) about the fact that Vince was more of a tit (I think that's what he called him!) in series 3, prompted me to write this, because I wondered why Vince was the way he was, and so I thought out something that might explain it. Well, in my head it did anyway. It could also be completely wrong, or just not the way others see it! And I still love Vince, so don't worry! Just wanted to work him out, 'cause if I was Howard, I'd be pretty pissed too.**

**Anyway, enough rambling... I hope you like it! My other two stories will be updated this week – I promise! I had loads of coursework, and then this popped into my head...**

**Disclaimer: Belongs to two geniuses, Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding, beautifully strange people that they are.**

**xxxx**

A tall, broad man with brown wavy hair and a mocha stained moustache made his way through Central Park in the early morning sunshine, coffee in one hand and newspaper in the other. A comforting breeze wafted round him, and he decided that April in New York was definitely beautiful. In fact, the last time he'd seen something this beautiful wasn't since...

He shook his head and took a seat on a nearby bench, the smell of his coffee floating up his nostrils and perking up his senses. He brought the cup up to his lips and sipped carefully. A woman cycled past clutching a lead, which was attached to a little dog running behind her. He smiled and opened up his paper, scanning the reviews section until he found what he was looking for. His eyes flickered over the page for a moment before they rested over a small paragraph. Small as it was, however, it didn't stop his previous smile from spreading into a grin.

Where would he be, Howard Moon thought, if it weren't for that fateful night?

xxxx

One year earlier..

Howard's eyes scanned the club miserably. The bright lights and noise were getting to him, and for what seemed like the thousandth time that night, he had been left standing alone by the bar. He caught sight of Vince, who was dancing on top of a huge speaker in-between two girls, and for some, inexplicable reason, his blood began to boil, and before he know what he was doing, before he realised he'd even moved, he was storming over to said speaker and pulling the electro ponce off of it, practically dragging him over to a relatively private corner of the club.

"Ow, Howard! Get off my arm! What's the matter with you, you lunatic!"

"What's the matter with me?! What's the matter with you?! You completely oblivious idiot!"

Vince glared at him. "What's your problem?!" he shouted over the music, voice straining to be heard. He yanked his arm out of Howard's grip and started to walk off, but Howard grabbed him and pulled him back.

"You're completely clueless, aren't you?! What... argh!" Howard let out a frustrated sigh and dragged Vince out of the club, the smaller man protesting indignantly all the way.

"Howard! You're showing me up! What you doing?!"

Howard pushed him out into the street, pulling him round a corner until they were at the back of the club and fairly secluded. Then, he wasted no time in launching into a scathing, verbal attack.

"Showing you up?! What about what you were doing to me?!" He laughed rather viciously then, making Vince regard him with wide eyes. "Do you even... No! No, of course you don't. You're just a jumped up, self involved little princess who doesn't care about anyone else's feelings. As long as everything's okay in the little world of Vince Noir, then nothing else matters, DOES IT?!" Howard screamed the last part at him, his blood boiling with the intensity of the anger he felt. This had been building up within him for ages.

Vince was silent, but his face betrayed the hurt and sudden fright he was feeling. He'd normally be arguing back at this point, giving just as good as he got – but something in Howard's eyes left him stunned and speechless.

Howard either didn't notice or just didn't care, because he carried on with his rant. "You're so blind! Do you care about me at all? Have you ever? Do you care that you continuously hurt my feelings time and time again, never realising that you actually have? That you think I automatically forget about what you do to me just because you give me a smile and apology that you shouldn't even have to give in the first place, because for some stupid reason, I thought you were my friend – my bestfriend! But you leave me out of things – you leave me off guest lists, you tell me a certain club has run out of tickets and you swan off with Naboo and Bollo, even Fossil, just so you won't have me cramping your style! Yougo flitting from one group of people to the next, conforming to what you think they want you to be, doing what you can to fit in with what you think will be the next big thing, even if it's at my expense. You humiliate me time and time again, treating me like shit, just to impress your so-called, shallow mates – do you knowhow I felt when you ruined my record? The one I'd been saving up for years for? Do you care? Because that was low, even for you. And these people,they never stick around, do they? No. You just come running back to me when it all goes wrong, expecting me to welcome you back with open arms! What is wrong with you?! I mean, do you actually think that I should bethankfulto have you as a friend? That I'll stick around because I have no one else? Is that it? Well, let me tell you something, Vince. Grow up and get your egotistical, shallow head out the clouds, because I don't need you. I don't need you to survive and I refuse to live the rest of my life waiting for you to notice me, I mean reallynotice me, not just treat me like an old, faithful dog that'll be there no matter what. What about my hopes? My dreams? What about what I want? Why is it always about you? Perfect, pretty little Vince, constantly, sickeningly happy as long as he gets what he wants. I do everythingfor you! I always give in, and I'm sick of it and I'm sick of you! Fuck you! I HATE YOU!" Howard wanted to storm off, and usually he would have, but he was so, infuriatingly angry that he stayed rooted to the spot, his face red, his whole body shaking. His face was mere inches from Vince's, who was now in tears and trembling, and when Howard finally noticed, barely a second after he'd stopped shouting, Vince choked back a heart-wrenching sob and ran off down a side alley. Howard watched him go, still unable to move.

xxxx

Present day

Vince tossed and turned in his sleep, finally giving in and sitting up, his fringe sticking to his head. He pushed back his covers to let some air into the abnormally hot room. He'd been dreaming, dreaming about that night exactly a year ago to the day when his whole world had fallen apart. He wiped viciously at the tears running down his cheeks, furiously trying to control his breathing as he gripped the sheets.

The events of that awful night played themselves out again, even though he tried with all his might to block them out...

**Vince ran blindly down the alley, bent over double as he fought the urge to be sick, his stomach twisting in the most unpleasant way and his heart aching, hurting more than he ever thought possible. And the worst thing was, it was all true. Well, mostly, except that he did genuinely care about Howard – he always had. How he behaved... he always hid how he really felt about, and now, acting like he did was routine, a horrible routine, but one he didn't want to break in case Howard noticed. He was just doing what he thought Howard expected, but, as luck would have it, he didn't realise that it was tearing them apart. But it was true - even though he had never meant to hurt Howard, he had, more than he ever thought possible. He did take him for granted, and he did treat him awfully sometimes – well, a lot of the time. All to stop him from looking stupid in front of his so-called friends. He mentally smacked himself, and fell into a wall, putting an arm out to steady himself as he slid down it, drawing his knees up to his chin and wrapping his arms round his legs as he buried his head between them, tears leaking uncontrollably. He had never meant for this to happen – never thought it would. But it had, and now he'd lost his friend, a friend he held dear, who he loved... a friend who now hated him. Really hated him. Vince had made Howard hate him. He had made him feel sick - had distressed him. He was disgusted with himself, and his sobbing became all the more gut-wrenching. But he couldn't just leave it like that, because it was Howard and he couldn't bare to not have him around. Not because he'd miss having someone run about after him, but because he simply wanted him. That terrified him – not because he was ashamed of feeling that way, but because he thought Howard was so straight he didn't even bend at the knees. So treating him the way he did was like some kind of twisted punishment Howard didn't even deserve, to try and make him feel better. Thinking back, that kiss at Howard's birthday party should have been his golden opportunity, but he backed off because he thought Howard was just caught up in the moment because he'd never been kissed before – turned out he had been right, and his inexperienced friend had gone off with that girl.**

**Maybe he should really explain all this to him – he'd rather have Howard hate him because he was in love with him rather that because he thought he was a twat. At least then, in the future, there might be a chance to salvage their friendship. But what was it Howard had said to him? '... I refuse to live the rest of my life waiting for you to notice me, I mean really notice me...' What did that mean?**

**Vince pulled himself unsteadily to his feet and made his way back towards where he had left Howard, praying he was still there.**

xxxx

New York

Howard stood up from the bench and continued his walk through the park, trying to shake off the memory. He knew exactly what today was, but he wasn't going to dwell on it – he couldn't afford too. If he did, everything he had been working so hard on would just crumble. He couldn't help letting his mind wander briefly though, blaming it on the fact that he'd just walked a past an arguing couple...

**Howard leant against the wall outside the back of the club with his hands over his face. The music pounded through the walls, sounding muffled, like it was under water. He had a headache now. He was still arguing inside his head, although it was with himself now. Even after everything he had said, he still felt responsible for Vince, because even though he'd finally told him how he'd been made to feel, his heart had still twinged horribly when he'd watched him run off in a state, down a dark alley on his own. **

"**Not your problem," his brain said. "He brought it on himself."**

**He doubted Vince could do anything to genuinely make it up to him. He was even sure that the reason Vince had been crying was because he'd insulted him, not because he'd made him realise how much pain he'd caused him.**

**Howard sighed and pushed himself away from the wall. Better go back and pack up his stuff while the flat was empty – then he could be gone by the time they all came home. As he turned on his heel, the sight of Vince appearing in his line of vision made him jump. He was standing a few metres away, his body half illuminated in the orange glow from the lamplight. Nothing was said, and Howard just stared at him. Unless it something worthy of it, like being completely pissed, Vince would never dare to be seen the way he was now. It was like his mask had suddenly, finally slipped. The exposure of it almost made Howard look away. Vince might as well have been standing naked in front of him. His hair was stuck up at funny angles where he'd been running his hands though it. Eyeliner was smeared around his red, puffy eyes and down his cheeks - the hint of blush that had been delicately applied there was strewn with tear-tracks. He was a mess, and for the first time ever, he really didn't seem to care. **

**Howard wasn't sure whether to ignore him and carry on with what he'd planned, or wait around to** **see if he was going to say something – although, he really didn't want to stand there and listen to him defend himself. If he even dared try, Howard thought he might smack him one. **

**Vince opened his mouth, and then promptly closed it again.**

**Howard pressed his lips into a thin line, shook his head, and left. The crying hadn't been for him after all.**

xxxx

Dalston

"Vince!"

The sound of Naboo's voice startled him out of his reverie.

"What?" he called out, hoping his weak voice was loud enough to travel through the closed bedroom door.

"The shop needs opening!"

Vince sighed. He didn't want to work today, but he had too. The false front he had been putting on for the last year had convinced everyone (or, so he thought) that he was okay. So it would seem strange if he didn't.

As he moved to get up, his mind switched back to playing out a million times over what he would have said and done if he hadn't suddenly had an attack of... what had Howard once called it? The chokes?

He shook his head violently. He couldn't do this now. He had a bright, shiny face to paint on and a false smile to glue to his lips.

It would take him a while.


	2. Naboo's Revelation

**A/N: Wow – thanks for the wonderful reviews! I hope you like this chapter!**

**xxxx**

Harlem, New York

Howard leant over the bar of The Jazz Den, sipping a cold beer and chatting to the barman. It was lunchtime, and the juke box played gently in the background, the music soothing him. He loved this place – they let him play here, talked to him like a normal person, respected him, actually liked him. Howard had never had so many friends in one place before. Here... here, he was at home.

"Good review you had in The Post today," the barman, Benny, said, running a cloth around a glass.

Howard grinned. "I know – my first solo set and they actually liked it!"

"You kidding me, man? It was awesome!"

See, this was what Howard needed, people like Benny, people who understood him. Not like...

No, don't think about him.

Howard finished his beer and placed the glass on the counter. "Right, I'm off."

"You working at the store this afternoon?"

Howard nodded. "Yup. Jeff needs me in for a few hours while he goes and values some guy's collection."

"Well, have fun. See ya later buddy."

Yes, Howard was definitely much happier here.

xxxx

Dalston, London

Vince was bored. Bored of Dalston, bored of the shop, bored of life in general. Granted, he didn't look bored, but that was only because he had a queue of customers and he was playing World's Best Shop Keeper. In actual fact, he wanted to scream and... a light bulb lit up over his head then. Yes, he actually would – not scream, of course, but he'd make them all leave. It was late afternoon anyway, so it wasn't like he'd be closing majorly early...

He clapped his hands together, a fake, apologetic smile on his face. "Right, I'm afraid I have to close up now, everyone!" There was a smattering of disapproving grumbles. "Sorry, I have... stock taking to do!"

One customer who walked past Vince on his way out, stopped long enough to say, "you should really get more staff, you know. Wasn't there a small-eyed man who used to work here?"

Vince's face fell. "Out!" he said, steering him not so gently in the direction of the door. Once everyone was gone, he went outside and yanked down the shutters. The one on the left got stuck, and the more he pulled, the more frustrated he became. Soon, tears were forming in his eyes, and by the time he'd managed to get the shutter down, they'd spilled over and dribbled down his cheeks. He flew back into the shop, slamming the door with such force that the windows rattled, and he just managed to lock it before sliding down it and sitting in a weeping heap on the floor.

Yes, Vince was definitely miserable here.

xxxx

A few hours later, Naboo came home to find Vince slumped on the sofa, asleep, a half empty bottle of whiskey in his hand, which was tilting dangerously towards the floor. Naboo frowned. Vince never drank whiskey – couldn't stand the taste. Vince liked flirtinis and sugary alcho-pops. He looked over to the kitchen and saw the bottom cupboard wide open. That's when he realised – it was one of Howard's old bottles.

"Vince," he said, bending down and shaking him gently, removing the bottle and placing it on the floor.

Vince groaned and opened his eyes slowly, wincing as the light hit his eyes.

"Vince, what are you doing? Why's the shop closed?"

"Howard?"

"What?"

Vince blinked tightly then, and when he re-opened his eyes, he saw Naboo standing over him. "Naboo?"

Naboo regarded him for a moment, his expression unreadable. "We need to have a chat, don't we?"

xxxx

"Find him."

"What?"

"Howard. Find him."

"But, I don't even know where he is! And what would I say? No, I can't." Vince jumped up, and then regretted it when his head started to pound. He put a hand to it and screwed his eyes up.

"But you need to, Vince! I knew it, you know? I knew all along that you weren't right. You may have thought you had us all fooled, but you didn't! I just played along with it because I thought that was what you wanted!"

Vince sighed and sat back down, running his hands through his hair. Should he? Would Howard even want to be found?

"He's in New York."

Vince looked up at Naboo. Had he just heard right?

"You what?"

How did he know that?

"New York?"

Naboo nodded. "Despite what I may or may not have thought of Howard, I did want to make sure that he was okay. It wasn't hard – I got the board of shaman to help me. He went home to Leeds for bit, then took off to America."

Vince sat in stunned silence. What on earth was Howard doing in New York? His heart raced. If he'd gone all that way just to get away from him, then...

"No."

"Vince?"

"No, I won't! He hates me so much that he had to go all that way... he couldn't even stand to be in the same country as me!" Vince ran off to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

xxxx

Harlem, New York

Barely ten minutes after he turned up at work, Howard nearly had a heart attack. He'd been going through a box of records when he'd walked in, hair glossy and coifed to perfection, tight jeans tucked into...

But, it hadn't been him. He'd thought it was – for a split second, the whole world seemed to stand still, and it was just them. When he'd come closer though, Howard had realised, and for some, inexplicable reason, his heart had sunk. He still felt light-headed and sick, but it was now born out of a disappointment he couldn't understand. The man was nothing like him, really, and certainly not as beautiful. No one ever was...

He shook his head. No, no, no. Vince had damaged him so much, and yet he still found himself thinking about him when he really didn't want to.

He wondered what he was doing today. Was he Happy? Probably. Did he even remember what today was? Probably not.

Howard sat down and put his feet up on the counter, willing the image of Vince out of his head. Things were different now. He spent dollars, not euros. He lived in an apartment, not a flat. He drove on the right, not the left. He played jazz at a proper club, not just listened to it.

He had no room for Vince in his life anymore.

**xxxx**

**A/N: I want to write about something major that Vince has changed, and I know it might seem a weird thing for him to do, but I was thinking about Noel's stand-up after I caught a set of his late last night on Paramount, and I thought 'hmm, I wonder if Vince could do comedy..." you know, hide behind it like another mask, but also enjoy it. I thought maybe he would have given up on the whole 'front man' thing because of what Howard said about him always changing to fit in with others, so in order to be himself but still be on stage, maybe he'd do comedy instead. He is rather funny, and I thought it might work. He wouldn't be hugely famous or anything, but popular on the London circuit. I thought it might just be a way for him to prove to Howard, even if he never did see him again, that he could do something that was just completely him. **

**I'll leave it up to you though – let me know what you think! If I did do it, I'd obviously be using a lot of Noel's stuff, 'cause there is no way I could write that to be funny enough!**


	3. Reflection

**A/N: Here it is – chapter three! Thank you for all your lovely reviews – I'm glad you're enjoying it!**

**xxxx**

Harlem, New York

"**The very thought of you, and I forget to do, the little ordinary things that everyone ought to do..."**

Howard scowled. Flicking through the jazz stations on his TV was getting him nowhere. As if a higher being had some sort of vendetta against him, every time he changed the channel a song would be playing that would make him think of Vince.

"**Fill my heart with song and let me sing forever more, you are all I long for, all I worship and adore..."**

Flick.

"**Blue moon, you knew just what I was there for, you heard me saying a prayer for, someone I really could care for..."**

Flick.

"**Night and day, you are the one; only you beneath the moon and under the sun. Whether near to me or far, it's no matter, Darling, where you are - I think of you night and day..."**

"Argh!" Howard turned the TV off and flung the remote across the room, plunging it into near darkness. A small slither of light forced its way through the small living room window, falling in lines against the wall as it sliced through the blinds. He could hear the traffic below, and found it somewhat soothing.

Deciding he needed a drink, he rolled off the sofa and wandering towards the kitchen, earning himself a loud hiss from his cat, Sparks, when he rudely awoke him from his slumber by accidentally treading on the end of his tail. Sparks flew across the room and nearly crashed into the wall as he skidded into the hallway and out of sight, probably to curl up right in the middle of Howard's bed. Howard shook his head and took a bottle of whiskey off the side, filling up a small glass and downing the whole thing in one. He poured another one and took it back to the sofa with him. Glancing at the clock, he noticed that it was already nearly midnight. He watched the shadows dancing across the ceiling, coming together and then jumping apart again, twirling to a silent song. Blinking, he found that his eyes were suddenly wet, and he glared at his glass, fully intent on blaming the alcohol, but the toffee coloured liquid just sat there innocently. He put the glass on the floor and went and sat by the window, looking down into the street below, which was still busy. They were right, he thought. New York really **is** the city that never sleeps. Mind you, London wasn't exactly quiet either. He watched as yellow taxis' manoeuvred their way down the street, stopping occasionally to drop off and pick up. People wandered merrily along – some drunk, some laughing, some in love...

He dropped his head. It wasn't as if he'd been by himself since he'd been here. That was another wondrous thing, too - women now took more notice of him. He wasn't sure whether it was just because they seemed to have a thing for English accents, but they were nice to him here – they listened to him without looking bored and laughed without looking like they were just doing it in case he tried to kill them. They remembered his name and asked how he was and didn't mind sitting in restaurants with him – granted, most of them were just friends, but he had had a couple of short-term relationships and got rid of his dreaded virginity. He'd been quite lucky actually; he hadn't wanted to admit that he'd never had sex before, but the lady in question was so drunk by the time they'd got back to his apartment that he'd reckoned she wouldn't notice anyway. Not that he'd taken advantage – he'd had a lot of wine himself, and she'd practically ripped his clothes off, thrown him on the bed and jumped on top of him. Not quite the way he'd imagined it – he'd thought it would be more... romantic - at least. The drink hadn't stopped him from paying attention though, and it had actually been easier than he'd thought it would be. However, he hadn't been prepared for how guilty he'd feel the next morning. That was another confusing thing – he'd fancied his best mate; him, and him only. No other man had caught his eye, and he'd already known that they wouldn't. So, he'd gone back to women, but it was for one reason only – he didn't want to be alone anymore. Sure, he had friends, but he wanted someone to come home to, even if that did mean that one day he would end up in a loveless marriage. Mind you, not that he'd ever get that far, because the reason his short relationships remained short, was that the thought of Vince would eventually get to him, and he would run. But he was trying hard – with each new day that came, he thought about him a little less, and that was surely a good thing. He didn't want to think about the man who'd broken his heart at all, but it wasn't as easy as just forgetting him.

Vince wasn't a very forgettable person.

xxxx

Dalston, London

Vince groaned and turned in his bed for the thousandth time. Stealing a glance at the clock on his bedside table, his groan turned into a loud sigh of frustration as he saw that it was just after six o'clock in the morning. Great – he'd barely slept a wink, he had to be up in an hour **and** he had a gig that evening.

He looked over to the other side of the room. Howard's bed was still pushed up against the far wall, neatly made and waiting to be occupied. The few things he had left behind were tidied neatly, but not packed away. Vince hadn't been able to get rid of anything – having what was left of Howard's things around him was the only comfort he had. When he'd first left, Vince had slept in Howard's bed every night for about three months. He'd finally managed to wean himself off, which had been hard, but the thing that made it that tiny bit easier was the fact that it didn't really smell like him anymore. Well, it made it easier for about five minutes, until Vince had burst into tears, telling himself that it was his fault it didn't smell like his friend anymore – that he'd slept in it too much and it had all been rubbed away, replaced with the smell of his hair products and cologne. It felt like he'd lost him all over again, and the wounds that had barely started to clot had reopened with a vengeance.

Vince pushed himself up, still staring at the bed. It wouldn't hurt to try.

A few minutes later he was settled, clutching the duvet to him comfortingly. It might not smell of him anymore, but it was still Howard's bed. Vince at last felt the pull of sleep, and drifted off into a dreamless slumber...

**Beep, beep, beep!**

Vince's eyes snapped open as he was rudely awoken by his alarm clock. Burying his head under the covers did nothing to block out the sound, and in the end he got up and threw the alarm against the wall. It stopped abruptly, pieces of white plastic now scattered over the floor. He glared at it before trudging wearily to the bathroom and looking at himself in the mirror. He normally shaved every day, but now it was becoming an effort he didn't really want to go through – still, he hadn't shaved yesterday, so he supposed he'd better do it now. Smoothing the foam over his face, he picked up his razor and began to draw it carefully over his skin. He used to watch Howard do this sometimes...

"**Howard?"**

"**Yes, little man."**

**Vince kicked his heels against the bath as he sat on the edge. "You do realise that if you shaved every day, it wouldn't take you so long in the mornings. You let it grow too wild."**

"**It gives me edge," Howard said, swishing his razor around in the water.**

**Vince looked at him cheekily. "Edge? You look like that homeless guy on Kingsland High Street."**

**Howard glared at him in the mirror. "Who are you to talk about taking ages in the mornings? Drag queens take less time getting ready than you do."**

**Vince tapped him in the bag of his leg with his boot, and Howard retaliated by splashing water at him. He shrieked and jumped up.**

"**If you've ruined my hair..." but he trailed off when he saw that Howard was laughing at him. "What?!"**

**Howard pointed to his crotch, still sniggering. "It missed your hair by a long shot, although you should probably think about changing your trousers – don't want you scaring the customers."**

**Vince looked down and groaned, but a smile twitched at the corners of his mouth all the same, and he was soon grinning at his friend. "I'll get you back for that."**

Vince sighed and watched as the dirty water swirled down the plug-hole. If only he'd taken more time to savour those moments of playful banter. Too late now, he supposed, picking up his toothbrush and loading it with minty fresh paste.


	4. A Sham Marriage

**A/N: Thanks for all your great reviews – things are starting to get moving now, but it won't all be plain sailing!**

**xxxx**

Harlem, New York – December 22nd

"Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard!"

The chanting from Howard's friends sounded like a dull thudding deep within his ears and he downed... Well, he didn't know what it was, but it looked pretty. He slammed the glass on the bar, causing a rousing cheer from his friends, and he stumbled back onto the bar stool with a stupid, triumphant grin on his face.

This was Howard Moon's last night of freedom.

He was getting married.

In two days.

xxxx

He groaned as he opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling, squinting in the bright light. He could hear someone bustling about in the kitchen, and it made his headache ten times worse. He pulled his pillow over his head, feeling slightly queasy as he inhaled the scent of lavender, the flowery perfume causing his stomach to churn uncomfortably.

"Howard? Honey, come on – time to get up."

He tried to resist as the pillow was pulled from his face, but in his weakened state he could do nothing but give in.

"I'm not getting up – I'm dying."

The woman standing over him sighed. "Well, that's your own fault."

"It was my stag night!"

She chuckled and hit him lightly with the pillow. "Fine, mooch around all day. I'm going out with the girls to pick up my dress." She stood up and walked over to the window, flinging the curtains apart and opening it to release the stench of alcohol.

"Jenna!"

Jenna walked back over to Howard and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Bye sweetie."

Howard waited until he heard the front door slam shut, and then slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position, his hands flying to his head. He wondered, briefly, if he was doing the right thing. He'd met Jenna seven months ago at the Jazz Den and they had started dating a week later. He'd finally come to a conclusion about what he wanted to do with his life, and had overall decided that he definitely did not want to be alone. Jenna was nice enough, if a little bossy sometimes, but he thought he'd probably be able to live with her for the rest of his life. She was a few years younger than him, slender with short, light brown hair, a nice smile and they had a lot in common. His friends had told him he'd done well for himself, and so three months after they had met, he had nervously got down on one knee and asked her to marry him.

The bad thing was, he still, even now, had images of Vince whizzing about inside his head, and so he had been quite surprised when Jenna had said yes, mainly because now he actually had to go through with it. He felt guilty, there was no doubt about that. Guilty because he was secretly condemning her to a life where her future husband, unbeknownst to her, wasn't actually **in** love with her. There was no doubt that he loved her, but it was a friendship love. He thought that, maybe in time, he could fall in love with her...maybe...

God – he was a coward. But he really, really didn't want to be alone anymore.

He stared out the window, shivering as a cold breeze circulated the room. It was snowing gently outside, the air crisp with the promise of Christmas, bringing his senses to some sort of state of alertness.

But he didn't realise he was crying until a sob got caught in his throat.

xxxx

Dalston, London

Vince shivered as he battled against the bitter wind blowing around him on his way back to Nabootique. Pulling his coat further around him, his ears aching, he hurried up the street as fast as he could, squinting as the icy air made his eyes water. Once he entered the shop, though, he didn't have time to warm up as Naboo grabbed him, yanked him to one side and pushed him down into a chair.

"Oi, what ya doin' ya spanner?!"

"Vince, you have to go to New York!" Naboo sounded unnaturally hysterical, but that didn't stop Vince from scowling at him.

"Don't start that again," he said, standing up and shoving past him - only to be stopped by Bollo.

"Vince go to Big Apple. Find Howard before he gets -"

"Bollo, you ball-bag! I told you to leave it to me!"

Vince looked between the two of them, confusion settling over his frozen, slightly flushed face. "Before Howard gets what? What's going on?"

Naboo sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Vince... Howard's getting married."

An eerie silence fell over the shop, and everything around Vince suddenly seemed to be moving in slow motion. He vaguely felt a hand on his arm, and he unconsciously brushed it off.

"Vince?"

Was someone talking to him through a wall?

"Vince!"

He jumped and stepped backwards.

"I don't believe you."

Naboo came towards him. "It's true. I had him checked on – just to see how he was doing. He's getting married on Christmas eve."

Vince, in a daze, walked back to the chair and slumped down into it. "Howard's getting married?"

"Vince must stop wedding. Howard is being an idiot."

"Bollo!" Naboo shouted at him.

"Sorry," he said, sheepishly, if that was even a possible expression for an ape.

Naboo kneeled down in front of Vince. "You have to go and find him before it's too late."

Vince shook his head. "What? What are you talking about, you blue pixie?!"

"Vince – Howard. Married. Getting."

That earned Naboo a particularly nasty glare.

"Why would I want to fly half way across the world to stop Howard's wedding? I made his life a misery, and now, obviously, he's happy. What, you want him to be miserable again, is that it? Did you really dislike him that much?"

"No! Vince, you don't understand! He's making the biggest mistake of his life!"

"Why?!"

"Because he doesn't love her!"

Vince blinked at him. "You what?"

Naboo sighed heavily. "He doesn't love her – he's marrying her for companionship. That's it."

Vince couldn't comprehend this. "Why would he marry someone he doesn't love?"

"Because he doesn't have you."

"You've gone wrong," Vince said, angry now as he got up again and stormed off upstairs, Naboo and Bollo running after him.

xxxx

Vince slammed his bedroom door behind him and slid down it.

Howard's getting married.

Married.

Without his permission, his eyes began welling up, and he gasped as the realisation hit him. Howard - **his** Howard - was getting married. He rolled over onto his knees and crawled towards Howard's bed, dragging himself onto it and sitting against the headboard, knees pulled up to his chest.

There was a hammering at his door.

"Get lost, Naboo!"

"Vince, Howard loves you, you muppet!" the shaman's voice called through the door.

He... what?

"Just piss off, yeah?!"

"No, Vince, he **really **loves you! That's why he left! He didn't think you felt the same way, and to be honest, you can't really blame him! But it's true! Now get out here you stupid twat and go find him!"

Vince wasn't going to give in just like that though, because there was one, tiny flaw in the shaman's ramblings...

"If that's so true, why's he marrying a woman?! He's obviously not gay, is he?!"

Naboo burst in the room then and strode right up to Vince's face. "Companionship!" he shouted., and proceeded to pull Vince's suitcase out from under his bed, grabbing clothes from the wardrobe and flinging them in.

"Hey, watch what you're doing! That's Vintage!" Vince cried, as Naboo threw down a faux fur coat.

Naboo stilled and turned to him. "Howard is in love with you. You're in love with Howard. If you don't stop this wedding, you are going to lose each other forever – D'you understand that?"

Vince stared at him, looking frightened. "Forever?" he whispered, tears spilling down his cheeks.

"Yeah."

He choked back a sob, a hand flying over his mouth. "Oh God... oh, God!" His brain kicked in then, and he started jumping about all over the place. "Naboo, get your carpet ready."

"I can't"

"What?"

"I can't – it's in the shop. And I can't get hold of another one just like that. I'd have to -" he was cut off when Vince's wallet came flying towards him.

"Use my credit card to book me a flight."

Naboo didn't need telling twice, and ran out the room.

Vince's head span as he tried to calm himself down enough to think about what he had to do. Walking over to his wardrobe, he picked out a few things and added them to Naboo's messy pile, grabbing bits and pieces from his dressing table and pulling a few things out of drawers along the way. He spun round on one foot, finger tapping his lip as he thought.

Five minutes later, he was battling to do up the suitcase.

"Bollo! I need your monkey arms!"

xxxx

"Okay – you got everything? Passport, money to change, phone?"

Vince nodded. He was panicking wildly now. Because it was so close to Christmas he'd been put on standby, and the thought that he might not get a flight out in time was doing things to his heart he never thought possible. He put a hand in his pocket and squeezed it around a piece of paper, on which was written 'Jazz Den – Harlem'. He had no idea, when he got there, what he was going to do or say when he finally found Howard. He might love him, but after everything, would he be happy to see him? Would he be happy to have him waltz back into his life when he'd managed to build up so much?

He shook those thoughts from his head when Naboo announced that the taxi had arrived, and just before he stepped into it, he turned back to his tiny friend one last time.

"You're sure I'm doing the right thing?"

Naboo didn't say anything – he just smiled at him knowingly.

And then the taxi was half way up the street.

No turning back.


	5. Leaving on a Jet Plane

**A/N: Here you go – quick update for you! I had some rather lovely reviews for the last chapter, so I hope this one manages to please too!**

**xxxx**

Heathrow Airport, London

Vince had never been to the airport during the Christmas rush before, and if it hadn't have been for Howard, he would have turned round and gone straight back home. It was now December the twenty-third, coming close to midnight, and he was **still** waiting to be put on a flight. His neck was stiff from grabbing what little sleep he could on the uncomfortable seats in the departure lounge, and he'd lost count of the amount of times he'd wandered aimlessly around Duty Free. It was noisy and hot, with disgruntled passengers complaining about delayed flights and kids running around screaming whilst their parents frantically tried to keep an eye on them amidst the hustle and bustle. There had been one moment that had put a smile on Vince's face, though. During one of his many phone calls to Naboo, where he had been all but crying down the phone, panicked that he wasn't going to get to New York in time, a little boy had spotted him, and when Vince had hung up his mobile with a heavy sigh, the boy had come toddling over, one hand behind his back.

"Don't be sad," he said, noting the look of distress on Vince's face.

Vince looked at him and offered a weak smile. "Should you have wandered away from your mum? She'll be worried."

The little boy shrugged. "You looked sad, so I thought I'd give you one of these," he said, pulling his hand out from behind him and offering Vince a candy cane.

Vince felt like he was going to cry. "That's for me?"

"I thought it would make you smile." He placed it in Vince's hand.

Vince looked down at the multi-coloured confectionary and then grinned at the boy. "What's your name?"

The child gave him a beautiful, toothy smile. "My name's Noel, and it's my birthday tomorrow."

"Really? How old will you be?"

Noel put his hand up and spread his fingers out. "Five," he said, proudly, before spinning round when he heard his mother call his name. "I have to go now. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, and have a happy birthday, little man." The affectionate term Howard had always used for him slipped out before he could stop it, and it made his eyes well up. He quickly blinked them away.

"Hey, Noel!" he called after the retreating boy.

Noel spun round, nearly knocking into an old lady.

"Thanks," Vince called out, holding up the sweet.

Noel's mother appeared then, and she scowled at Vince as she picked up her grinning son and carried him away.

That had been hours ago now, and nothing interesting had happened since.

He looked at the time on his phone, his stomach twisting into a knot. Flight time was, apparently, around seven hours, and if he didn't get a seat soon, he wasn't going to make it.

He wandered over to the desk, asking the woman behind it for the hundredth time if anything had come up. This time though, when she again checked her computer, she was able to give him something to hold out for.

"There's a flight to JFK at nine in the morning – we might be able to get you on that."

"Nine!" Vince exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, sir, but that's all I can give you at the moment."

Vince sighed. "All right – thanks."

Shit. If everything went to time, he would be cutting it fine to say the least, and if the flight was delayed or something went wrong... he shuddered. He couldn't bare to think what would happen if he didn't get there in time.

xxxx

Turns out, Vince was in luck. He'd been able to get a seat on the nine-am flight, and the plane was now taxiing up the runway. He didn't mind flying, and quite enjoyed the feel of the plane zooming up the airfield, but there was that one bit, just after take-off, where the plane would tilt and wobble slightly, turning the world on its side and making him feel dizzy. He looked away from the window as he felt the wheels lift from the ground, concentrating on the screen in the back of the chair he was staring at, which was currently blank.

The Boeing soon levelled out, and Vince was now able to look out the window without feeling like he was going to fall. Not that there was much to look at. It was a dull, cloudy day, and he could barely see the land below.

He yawned, and tried to get comfortable in his seat. It was certainly cosier than the chairs in the departure lounge, but he wished he was able to stretch out his legs. He wanted to sleep, but his mind wouldn't let him, throwing images and memories at him left, right and centre, taunting him with what should have been, would could be, and what could go horribly wrong. He was due to arrive in New York two hours before the wedding, but, somehow, the shaman who had given Naboo his information had only been able to tell him the time of the wedding, not where it was being held. He would have to get a taxi to the Jazz Den (God knows how long that would take), and then find someone who wouldn't think he was an absolute weirdo to tell him where it was.

A ding from above alerted him to the fact that he could now take his seat-belt off, and he undid it slowly, pulling the binds between his fingers and then flinging them to the side. All around him people were chatting excitedly. Some were wearing Santa hats and bits of tinsel, and while he thought the shiny stuff was genius, he was unable to join in with the Christmas cheer. His stomach lurched uncomfortably as his nerves threatened to overwhelm him, and he took deep, steady breaths to try and calm himself.

This was going to be a long flight.

xxxx

Harlem, New York

Howard tossed and turned in his bed, his nerves getting the better of him every time he finally felt like he was dropping off. It was weird lying in his bed alone now, but Jenna had been adamant that it was bad luck to spend the night together before the big day, and so she had gone off to her parents' house. But even though it was weird, he didn't actually mind it that much. He'd much rather have...

No!

God damn it!

Recently his mind had been wandering to **him **far more easily than he had previously trained it to do, and it was really starting to mess him up. He couldn't afford to think of him anymore. He was getting married - his wife would need him to think of her, not some far away electro prince.

He got up and stumbled, half asleep, to the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water. His best man, Johnny, was fast asleep on the sofa, sprawled out like some demented angel, his light snoring occasionally turning into a snort. Howard tried not to laugh as he thought his friend sounded a bit like a lion with a cold. He downed the water, his dehydrated mouth lapping up the liquid eagerly, and placed the glass in the sink.

Back to bed – he needed his beauty sleep... no, he just needed sleep, something which had become a bit of a rarity lately.

He flopped down and curled up around his pillow, eventually falling into a dreamless slumber.


	6. Losing You All Over Again

**A/N: Mega angsty chapter – I'm really sorry! By the way, I've never been to New York, so as far as I know, the hotel name is just one I made up. Again, I'm sorry, and please don't throw things at me!**

**xxxx**

Vince was in such a hurry to get out of the airport, that he either didn't notice or just ignored the startled cries as his suitcase bounced about all over the place behind him, knocking into people as it was dragged along haphazardly. Vince had never been to New York before, but that didn't stop him from racing out of the terminal and waving his arms about wildly at the first taxi he saw. Well, if it worked in the movies...

"In a hurry, pal?"

"Yes!" Vince shouted, a little too loudly as the driver jumped out and grabbed his case, throwing it not so gently into the boot of the car.

Vince scrambled in, leaning over the back of the front seat as the driver got back in. "I need to go to the Jazz Den in Harlem. I'm sorry, I don't have the street name," he gabbled, nerves getting the better of him.

The driver looked at him with a hint of amusement. "Hey, I've been a cabbie for nearly twenty years - there's nowhere I haven't been," he said, pulling out into the road.

"Great," Vince said, relaxing slightly. "How long will it take?"

The driver sucked in air through his teeth as he thought. "Well... depending on traffic... half an hour, an hour maybe..."

"An hour!" Vince exclaimed, panicking all over again.

"Sorry buddy – what you got? A meeting?"

Vince shook his head. "No – I have to stop a wedding."

That earned him a frown in the rear-view mirror. "What d'ya wanna do that for?"

"Love," Vince replied, really not wanting to go into any more detail than that.

xxxx

Being Christmas eve, the traffic, needless to say, had been horrendous, and the taxi had finally pulled up outside the club. He literally had minutes.

"Wait here," Vince instructed, jumping out into the snow and bitter chill. He ran across the pavement and pulled on the glass doors to the club, which were covered in brass shapes of musical instruments. The doors, however, were locked. Vince let out a scream of frustration.

"No, no, no!" He slammed his hands flat against the glass, desperately trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

He was about to move away when he spotted a shadow on the other side, and his heart lurched as he pummelled his fists at the door again.

"Hey!" he shouted.

A man emerged from a doorway and called out to him. Vince was just able to make out the words 'we're closed!'

Desperate, he banged again as the man walked away, earning himself a glare. "Howard!" he yelled out, and the man looked at him in confusion, walking towards the door and unlocking it.

"You're looking for Howard Moon?"

"Yes! Yes – I've... lost the address for the wedding... I'm a friend of his, from London. Vince... I'm Vince."

The man rubbed a hand over his chin. "Vince? Can't say he's ever mentioned a Vince."

Vince's heart sank.

"But the wedding's at the Parkway Hotel," he continued. "Anyways, I'd better go and finish up so I can at least make it in time for the reception, and you'd better hurry if..."

But Vince had already legged it back to the taxi.

"You get it?" the driver asked, pulling away from the curb.

"Yeah – Parkway Hotel. Please tell me it's not an hour away."

"Nah, just a few blokes. Hold tight," he said, putting his foot down.

xxxx

Howard stood in front of the alter, rocking back and forth on his heels nervously.

"Hey," Johnny said, putting a hand on his arm. "Relax – this bit's easy – it's the 'I do' part you gotta be worried about," he chuckled.

Howard pulled a face at him. "Thanks, mate."

The music started up, and Howard tensed. He wanted to clench his hands, but he didn't want the guests – especially his future wife's family – to notice just how scared he was. He was supposed to be happy that he was getting married, and he was, actually, but...

He held his breath as Jenna appeared in the doorway, holding onto her father's arm. She did look beautiful in her dress, and it was then that Howard realised that he should be bloody well grateful that anyone had agreed to marry him at all, let alone the lovely vision in white walking towards him with a beaming smile and rosy cheeks.

xxxx

"Here you go, pal."

Vince dived a hand into his pocket and pulled out a wad of notes, practically throwing them at the driver in his haste to get out of the cab. "I hope that's enough – thanks."

"Not a problem – either way," the driver said, with a smile. "And good luck!" he called out after him as the door slammed shut, followed by the boot several seconds later.

Vince ran up to the hotel doors with his suitcase flying out behind him, grabbing the handle and pulling it open before the smartly dressed doorman had even had time to react. Vince paused momentarily on the other side, slightly stunned by the hotel's décor. **Her parents must be loaded**, he thought, as he set off again, sprinting up to the front desk, his heels clicking loudly against the marble floor.

"Wedding! I'm late for the wedding!" he gasped, as the woman behind the counter regarded him with wide eyes. She pointed to the right.

"Down that corridor, second on the left – Park Suite."

"Cheers," Vince said, running off again before adding, "Look after my luggage!"

When he reached the door, he stopped briefly to get his breath back. This was it – he wasn't only about to see Howard again, but he was barging in on his wedding, in front of what was probably a **lot** of people. His stomach twisted sickeningly, his whole body trembling with fear and excitement.

He hoped he was doing the right thing.

xxxx

"Do you, Howard TJ Moon take Jenna -"

"Howard!"

The priest looked up at the sudden interruption, and Howard froze. No, no way. That voice... it couldn't be...

"Howard!"

But it was. Howard turned slowly, frightened at finally seeing what he had left behind over a year and a half before, his breath catching in his throat as he saw Vince standing at the other end of the aisle. Vince... **his** Vince. No, wait, not **his** Vince.

"Howard?"

He felt Jenna touching his arm gently.

"What's going on? Who's that?" She understandably sounded confused, but at that moment, Howard couldn't remove his eyes from the man he never thought he'd ever see again.

He watched as Vince took a tentative step forward. "Howard... I need to talk to you."

The guests started to murmur amongst themselves, and it was then that Howard finally found his voice.

"Vince! I'm a bit busy," he hissed, more angrily than he intended.

Vince stilled, and held his hands up. "I just need to have a quick word – please? It's important."

"So is my wedding!"

"Please," Vince said, his voice wavering dangerously.

Howard looked at him, standing there all bedraggled, hair a mess, looking like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and he knew he shouldn't care, but if Vince hadn't even made the effort to even sort his hair out before being seen in public, then maybe something was really wrong – and it couldn't be over something silly if he'd come all the way to New York. Speaking of which, how the hell did he even know where he was?

"Howard?! Would you please tell me what's going on?" Jenna demanded, sounding none too happy at having her big day so rudely intruded upon. He couldn't blame her, but...

"I'm sorry, honey," Howard said, putting his hands on her arms. "Just give me five minutes."

"What?!"

"Just so I can get rid of him," Howard added, quickly.

"But who is he?"

"Jenna, please – five minutes." He turned away from her as she huffed, an unhappy look across his face as he made his way towards Vince, who was, for some reason, looking quite scared and for once, not happy at having everyone looking at him

Howard grabbed his arm and steered him out into the corridor, saying nothing as he pushed open the door of the room opposite, relieved that it was empty. He shoved Vince through the door and closed it quickly, leaning against it with a wild look on his face.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, none too pleasantly.

Vince looked at him urgently, eyes brimming with tears. He tried to look him in the eye, but Howard wasn't having any of it. "I..." his voice cracked, and he broke down, sobbing unashamedly, really not caring anymore. A hand flew to his mouth as his breath hitched.

Howard frowned – that was **not** what he had been expecting. Even so, he couldn't bring himself to go to him.

"Howard..." Vince's eyes searched the ones of the man in front of him, who finally, after what seemed like forever, held them. Then it all came tumbling out in a big, blubbering mess. "I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry. I didn't... I never... I'm so sorry. It's true – all those things you said before you left. I was an awful friend and I'm a horrible person and I'm so, so, sorry... I really am. I can't bear the thought of you hating me anymore, even though I know I deserve it and..." he trailed off to take in some much needed air before continuing, "and I'm a first class arsehole. I know you won't believe it, and I don't blame you, but I really, **really** never meant to hurt you. I promise – I swear on my life. But I won't lie – I knew what I was doing, but I was doing it to make me feel better because of the way I felt - the way I **feel** - about you. I stupidly thought you wouldn't ever feel the same way and I was unfairly taking it out on you and I **hate** myself for it. I'm scum! The lowest of the low and I'm so ashamed and I'm so sorry and I don't want you to lose you but I'd rather have you hate me for ruining your wedding than because you thought I was a horrible person but I am that too but I had to tell you anyway because after what you said I thought you deserved to know the reason why I did it and I'm so sorry!" He was hysterical now, his voice having spewed out the words at a million miles an hour and reached a level several octaves higher than it could handle, and he leant against the wall, his head bent, his hands over his tear-streaked face, and he sobbed wretchedly, hiccupping and gasping for air.

All the blood in Howard's face had drained away. His mouth opened, but he didn't know what to say.

After a few, awful moments, Vince looked up at him, wiping his face on his sleeve. "Look at you, standing there in your suit. Always knew you'd scrub up well." He tried to smile, but was engulfed by another wave of tears.

"I..." Howard started, and he swallowed heavily. "I have to go and get married," he said, in so much shock that his voice came out in barely a whisper.

Vince looked devastated. "But, you can't! Howard... I love you."

"No..."

"I know you feel the same!" Vince cried out, his chest heaving painfully. "Naboo found out – he told me! Told me you were here and I had to come!"

"Vince..."

"I've changed, Howard! I'm not... what I did to you... I can't change it, but I can make up for it. Please, let me make it up to you."

Howard, frightened by how hysterical Vince was, pushed himself away from the door and grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Vince! I'm... I've changed. I'm sorry, but I'm getting married – I am. Don't you understand? How could I possibly love you anymore if I'm marrying someone else?"

"But, Naboo said -"

"Naboo was wrong," Howard said firmly, his heart breaking all over again. He wouldn't give in though. He'd made his decision, and he was going to stick by it. He could feel Vince trembling underneath his hands, and it was only now he was up close to him that he could see just how different he looked. His sparkle had gone, and his face was unhealthily pale and exhausted. His once twinkling, bright blue eyes were now red and tired, dark circles hanging beneath them. And now he hated what he was about to do even more.

"Vince... go home."

"Howard, please," he pleaded.

"Go home... and forget me. Forget I ever existed."

At that, Vince's whole body language changed instantly. "Forget you?!" he suddenly spat, causing Howard to jump back. "Forget you?! Do you really think it's as easy as that?!"

"Vince, I'm so sorry." He turned and headed back towards the door, crying out as Vince launched himself at him.

"Don't leave me, don't leave me!" he begged. "Please, don't leave me! I'll do anything, I'll... just don't go! I can't lose you again!"

Howard, his own eyes threatening to well up, tried to remove Vince from him as gently as he could. "Please don't," he said, his hands round Vince's wrists as he held him back. "It'll be okay – **you'll** be okay. Just go home."

"No!"

Howard didn't want to, but he forcefully pushed Vince away. "Just go home!" he shouted at him, hoping he sounded angry. He had to be cruel to be kind.

Vince was staring at him in shock, and Howard knew that whenever he thought of Vince in the future, no matter how much he tried not to, instead of picturing him all happy and shiny, the only thing he would be able to see, for the rest of his life, was the look of absolute devastation and heartbreak broken like shattered glass all over his beautiful face. Because it still was beautiful, even though it was marred by hurt and stained with tears.

He walked out.

xxxx

For what had seemed like hours, Vince had stumbled almost blindly through the snow covered streets, tears freezing on his cheeks and his hands so numb he couldn't entirely tell if someone had made off with his case, or if it was somehow still being dragged wretchedly behind him. It had been the latter, but he'd also found that he could have cared less either way. Passers-by had looked at him strangely, but he hadn't cared. Nothing mattered anymore.

Finally, he'd managed to find a hotel that wasn't fully booked, and even then he'd had to convince the woman behind the front desk that the reason he looked in such a state **wasn't **because he was off his face on drink and drugs.

"Look," he'd finally said, his voice threatening to break again. "The love of my life has just married someone else, and now I'm stuck in a country I've never been to before, where I don't know anyone, and I'm about to spend Christmas all on my own. Now please, I just want a room. I don't care what type of room it is, I just want a bed – any bed - so I can sleep.

The receptionist had softened then, and booked him into the best room she could find.

Now, Vince was curled up in bed, still in the clothes he had been wearing for the past two days. He'd called Naboo, shouting tearfully down the phone at him and blaming him for everything under the sun and more, and was now, finally, silent. The tears had dried up, leaving behind sore and burning eyes and a thumping headache. He lay on his side, staring at the wall, eventually falling into a deep sleep as the jet-lag combined with the days events consumed him at last.


	7. Trying to Move On

**A/N: Ooh, I'm on a right roll! I know I should be updating my other stories, and I will (I promise!) but this story just keeps pouring out! Love you all and all your reviews!**

**xxxx**

Somehow, the next morning, Vince managed to climb out of bed and get into the shower. He felt numb and completely heartbroken, his stomach aching like it had been repeatedly stabbed, and he leant against the wall for support as the hot water slammed against his skin, trying its best to soothe him. Afterwards, he dressed in clean clothes and dried his hair into something that resembled some sort of style. Looking out the window, he saw that the snow was still falling gently, children running about in it, building snow-men and shrieking with laughter as they threw snowballs at each other. He sat down on the bed with a sigh and stared up at the sky. Try as he might, he couldn't shake off the feeling of complete humiliation that enveloped him in a blanket of heat. Even though no one was around to see him, he still flushed violently as he remembered how he had embarrassed himself in front of Howard, crying and clinging to him like some crazed limpet. No wonder he'd been so angry.

He got up and tiredly paced the room, not knowing what to do with himself. He didn't want to eat, didn't want to join in with the festivities downstairs, didn't want to watch some soppy Christmas film on the TV... he didn't want to do anything – except go home. But he couldn't, because the airport was closed, so he had to wait, fragile and alone, hearing everyone else laughing and celebrating, as he died a little more inside.

xxxx

"Howard, let's go for a walk in the park – it's beautiful out there."

Howard looked up from his breakfast as Jenna came over and perched herself on his lap, arms going round his neck.

Understanding woman that she was, she had overlooked the fact that her husband had been pulled away by some seemingly insane old friend during their wedding, and was now enjoying her first morning as a married woman.

Howard smiled at her. "Sure."

He knew he should be feeling on top of the world at that moment, and on the outside, he looked it. Inside, though, it was an entirely different story altogether. He was still reeling from his confrontation with Vince, and feeling terrible over how he had left him. He'd realised that he didn't even know if Vince had a place to stay, and that right now he was alone, on Christmas day. Even so, he had to try to not think about him. His life was here now, and he stood, lifting Jenna with him and making her giggle.

"Of course, we could always go out a bit later," she purred, tugging on his shirt collar and pressing a kiss to his neck.

Howard raised his eyebrows at her. "Just what are you suggesting, Mrs Moon?" he teased.

Her response was to press her lips passionately against his, and they tumbled down onto their big bed in their beautiful honeymoon suite.

xxxx

Dalston, London

Vince had finally got on a flight back to London the day after boxing day. Naboo and Bollo had tried to approach him delicately when he'd returned, but he hadn't really said anything to them, just holed himself up in his room. They could hear him crying occasionally, but were really at a loss as to what to do. He was hurting badly, and only time would tell how he would come out of it.

Inside his bedroom, Vince was sinking into a deep, dark depression. In a fit of anger and frustration, he'd thrown the rest of Howard's things around the room, upending boxes and kicking things around. Childish really, and it hadn't made him feel any better – he just hadn't been able to stop himself. When he'd finished and had scanned the devastation, he'd fallen to his knees in tears, ashamed at what he'd been reduced to, and had set about picking everything up and arranging it back to the way it had been – as best he could, anyway. He should have actually packed it all away, but he couldn't do it, not yet.

After a few weeks of wallowing in self-pity, Vince had finally dragged himself out and made some sort of an effort to communicate with the outside world. He made himself look presentable, and decided to pop down to Stables Market in Camden for a browse. It was freezing and packed and music blared out all around him, cheesy pop, dance and rock all blending together. The bright colours from the retro stalls assaulted his eyes, contrasting with the darkness of his psychological state. He wandered about in a semi-daze, tripping on the cobbles every now and then when he failed to pick his feet up properly as he walked. Maybe this hadn't been the best idea. People were laughing and chatting, and the smell of Chinese food wafted through the air, mixing with the heady scent of Moroccan spices and incense. It usually made him feel great, but now it was playing heavily on his stomach, making him feel queasy. He stopped at one of his favourite vintage shops, but didn't have the inclination to go in in the end, and he was certain that people were staring at him. Why - he wasn't sure. He didn't look too bad, and his sunglasses were covering his bleary eyes, so he was pretty sure he didn't look **that **frightening. A cold air blew across his stomach, and it was then that he realised his coat was undone. He wearing a somewhat clingy t-shirt underneath, and as he looked down, he realised, to his horror, that his stomach looked concave. Had he really been eating that little? Truth was, he had. Was that why people had been staring at him? He hastily buttoned up his leather coat and made he was towards the exit, not caring if he knocked into people as he rushed out into the street and down towards the Lock.

xxxx

Harlem, New York – Three Months Later

The bitterness of winter had finally broken and spring was now well and truly on its way. Flowers grew in the parks, adding colour to the once stark ground, and birds twittered happily as they flapped about making their nests. But the calming, tranquil mood had failed to reach at least one person.

Howard Moon was currently sitting at his kitchen table with his chin in his hands as his coffee went cold in front of him. Since the wedding, Vince's broken voice had come back to haunt him over and over again, and Jenna had been starting to notice that her husband seemed to be sinking into some sort of despair. He was moody and irritable, but whenever she tried talking to him, it would turn into yet another argument as Howard continued to deny that there was anything wrong. He even accused her of being paranoid. Howard knew he was being unfair and hurtful, and every time Jenna cried he felt even more guilty about what he was doing to her. It wasn't her fault, and she didn't deserve to be treated like that. God – he was seriously messed up. He just hoped that it would get easier with time. Jenna deserved a happy life and a loving marriage, and so far he was failing at both. He'd never been more ashamed of himself.

The front door opened, and he looked up as Jenna walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, you," she said, smiling. "Had a good day?" she went over and placed a kiss at the corner of his mouth.

Howard returned her smile wearily. "Not bad – the usual. How's Hattie?"

Jenna pulled a face at the mention of her sister. "Still got her head up in the clouds. She's seeing this guy who owns a hotel in Manhattan – stinking rich, and that's the only reason she's with him. I sometimes wonder if she even knows what the word 'love' actually means."

Howard snorted as Jenna affectionately ran a hand through his hair. "You sister will always be a gold-digger. She's been programmed that way since birth."

"Tell me about it." She took a bottle of water from the fridge before coming to sit next to him. "What's up? You look down."

"Nothing – I'm fine."

Jenna nodded. She knew well enough not to push it now, no matter how much it was tearing her apart inside.

"What do you fancy for dinner?"

"Oh!" Howard said, suddenly remembering that he'd forgotten to tell her he wouldn't be in. "Sorry, I forgot to say – I'm playing down the club in a bit."

Jenna sighed. "Doesn't matter – hey, I'll come down later and we can have a drink."

Howard smiled, trying to make an effort. "That'd be nice."

xxxx

Dalston, London

Vince, even though he still had a gaping hole in his heart that would probably remain until the day he died, was feeling much better. He was currently strolling through Regent's Park in the warm, spring breeze, enjoying the feel of the sun against his back as he nibbled at a baguette. Just days before, he'd finally been able to pack away Howard's things, which were now stored in boxes in the loft – he hadn't wanted to get rid of them completely. It had been a sad day, but he'd made a conscious decision not to waste his life waiting for something that would never be.

Whatever Howard was currently doing, Vince hoped that he was happy – he really did. He was quite sure that he was. After everything he had put him through, Howard deserved to be happy.


	8. My Everything

**A/N: I'm not going to say much about this chapter, because I don't want to give anything away. I hope you like it though and thank you again very muchly for all your kind words!**

**xxxx**

Harlem, New York

Howard sat bolt upright in bed, breathing heavily. Looking over at Jenna, and being careful not to wake her, he slid out from under the covers and padded into the living room, sitting down heavily on the sofa.

He'd never actually let those three words sink into his head until now. He had been dreaming about the wedding, about his conversation with Vince. He had been listening to him at the time, but for some reason, probably because he was acutely aware that he had just left Jenna standing at the alter with no explanation, and people were waiting and wondering what was going on, and he was so busy panicking and trying to get Vince to leave...

But now, those three words echoed around his head loudly, taunting him and making his gut clench horribly.

"**I love you."**

Yes, that was what Vince had said, and Howard had been listening, he really had, but his panic had somehow knocked it to the back of his mind, blinding him, and he had repressed it ever since, only ever remembering that Vince had tried to stop his wedding because he was sorry and wanted him to come back. Why on earth had his brain reacted like that? Why had it tried so hard to block out the part where Vince had spilled his feelings for him? He'd thought of Vince a lot since the wedding, switching between guilt and anger, but never because of **that**.

He thought frantically, wide awake now and even more confused that ever.

He loved Vince.

Vince loved him.

He'd married Jenna.

Shit. Oh, you idiot – you stupid, stupid arse.

What have I done?

What have I done?

Howard jumped up and started to pace the room, practically hyperventilating, his hands running through his hair, which he grabbed at the roots, tugging it in a state of panic. What on earth was he supposed to do? He had Jenna – beautiful, sweet Jenna, who loved him. She was the first woman ever to do so...

But Vince – he loved him too. Howard knew he had been being sincere, and was genuinely regretful as to how he had behaved. He'd never seen Vince look so sorry in all his life.

Howard loved Jenna, he really did, but Vince... Vince was his first, his last... his everything. As much as he hated to admit it, he was still in love with him.

That was the difference. As much as he loved his wife, he wasn't **in **love with her. He never would be, no matter how hard he tried. But he was in love with Vince.

Howard wanted to scream. He had come to New York to better himself, to be happy. He had achieved the first, but the latter...

He knew he would never be truly happy with Jenna, but what could he do? Should he break Jenna's heart, or break his and Vince's? One heart, or two?

Howard started out of the window, his head thumping, trying not to cry. He didn't deserve to cry, he reasoned. This was his fault, his mess... his heart shouldn't come into the equation. He'd have to live with the decision he'd already made.

xxxx

Dalston, London – Two Weeks Later

"I know, I know! I can't believe it either! What did he think he was doing?" Vince laughed as he held his mobile to his ear and climbed the stairs to the flat, dropping his bag to the floor and shrugging out of his leather jacket, which wasn't easy when he was trying to listen to the rambling voice on the other end of the line at the same time. He threw it down to join his bag, and flopped down onto the sofa.

"Yeah, but did he tell you about Kiki?... Oh, God. Well, it turns out, Kiki wasn't actually a woman at all!" he laughed again, trying hard to contain it as he spoke, his voice sounding high and strangled. "He didn't realise until he came out of the bathroom, and he was laying there, spread out on the bed like some sort of..." Vince trailed off, his laughter dying instantly, and it wasn't because he'd forgotten the end of the story. He disconnected the call, the phone falling out of his now loose grip to the floor – not that he noticed.

Someone was sitting at the kitchen table, staring at him nervously. Someone who wasn't supposed to be there.

Vince's mouth went dry, and he was dimly aware that he was trembling, a sick feeling swirling in the pit of his stomach as he tried to remember how to speak. But what was he supposed to say? Maybe his brain was playing tricks on him, or maybe someone had spiked his coffee with a hallucinogen... He blinked hard, but when he opened his eyes, he was still there, except that now he was up on his feet, looking awkward and scared. No, this wasn't fair, not after he'd been trying so hard, so very hard...

"Vince."

Vince let out a breath he didn't even realise he had been holding, although it came out as a loud gasp. He tried desperately to find his voice. His mouth was definitely open, he knew that much, and it occurred to him that he must look like a right fool. He flicked out his almost dry tongue and ran it over his lips, which were begging for moisture. He had to say something.

"What..." he cleared his throat as his voice broke, and tried again. "What are you doing here?" he said, practically whispering the words.

Howard slowly walked up to him until they were face to face. He tried to smile, but he was trying hard not to cry at the same time, so it must have looked rather odd. "I had to see you."

Vince looked at him, studying his tired face, which was wrought with pain and sadness, and something else he couldn't quite fathom, but if he had to guess, he would say it looked like shame and regret. "What's happened?"

Howard looked at him desperately. "You."

Vince finally found himself and shook his head, stepping away slightly. "You told me to go away – to forget you."

"I know!" Howard cried out, before lowering his voice. "I know – it was wrong of me, and I'm so sorry, Vince, really, I am. I should never have spoken to you like that. I wasn't thinking straight – you just appeared and I was getting married and..." he broke off, sitting down on the sofa and putting his head in his hands.

Vince stared dumbly at him, unsure of what to do. In the end, he settled for sitting down next to him. "You've got nothing to be sorry for," he said, studying his hands. "I made a complete fool of myself and nearly ruined your wedding day. I should never have gone to New York. It was selfish of me.. can't seem to stop, can I?"

Howard turned his head towards him. "No, no it wasn't. I'm glad you did."

Vince frowned. Had he just heard right?

"You what?"

Howard bit down on his lip. "I couldn't make you both miserable, but I've known Jenna five minutes compared to how long I've know you..."

Thoroughly confused, Vince ran his hands over his face. "I don't understand," he said, although he could see that Howard was clearly struggling with something. He wanted to reach out and touch him, but he forced himself not too. He needn't have worried too much though, because at that moment, Howard reached out grabbed both his hands.

"We've been arguing a lot lately, Jen and I – and it's all my fault. I have ruined **everything**." His eyes welled up, and Vince found himself instinctively letting go of one of his hands and reaching out to touch his cheek.

"What happened?"

"I... I've left her."

Vince blinked in surprise. "You've what?"

"I couldn't do it anymore, Vince. I was living a lie, and it wasn't fair on her – she didn't deserve it. I've been so miserable, and I couldn't tell her why, so we just argued and in the end I just...I can't live without you, I just can't. When I did finally tell her... it was horrible." A tear ran down his cheek, falling onto his shirt.

Vince's hand slipped from his face to his neck, barely believing what he was hearing. "What did she do?" he asked, his voice shaking.

"Went mad, threw things at me, told me I was scum, cried, screamed. She had every right, of course. What I've done to her... I've ruined her life, Vince – everything she dreamed of, hoped for... it's all gone, all because of me." He let out a sob, and in an instant Vince had pulled him into a hug. "Vince... Vince, I love you, I do – it's always been you, it always will be you, and I'm so sorry it's happened like this," he choked out.

"Me too," Vince said, his own tears now falling in black streaks down his face at Howard's revelation. "But you're not a bad person, you're not – d'ya hear me? People make mistakes – look at me. I hurt you, made you leave – I started all this and -"

"No," Howard cut in, shaking his head. "No. I knew what I was doing, and I didn't stop it."

Vince cupped his face with both hands. "But it still stands – if I had just told you how I felt... but I was so scared, Howard. I never thought..." he hiccupped, trying to catch his breath. "I never thought you'd feel the same way.

"I do!" Howard cried, "I always have. When it actually sunk in that you... Vince..." He pressed his lips to Vince's in a frantic kiss, desperately wanting to taste him, to take away all the pain and suffering, tears pouring from his eyes like a torrent of rain.

Vince sobbed into his mouth, clutching to him as he were afraid he would suddenly disappear. He'd dreamed of this moment a thousand times, and now it was happening, all he could do was cry as he tried to remember how to work his lips.

"I love you... I love you," Howard mumbled against him, his voice hoarse and broken.

"I love you," Vince replied, shaking so much he thought he was going to pass out.

Howard moved his lips to Vince's cheeks, kissing away his tears as his hands ran through his raven hair. "I'm sorry, Vince, I'm sorry. I left you all alone in New York – I left you all alone at Christmas..."

"Don't," Vince whispered against him, "Please don't. It doesn't matter anymore."

"It does," Howard sobbed. "I'm so -"

Vince cut him off by capturing his lips again, kissing him hard. He didn't want Howard to keep apologising – he had nothing to apologise for, as far as he was concerned, and the pain in his voice was breaking his heart. He pulled away after a moment, breathing heavily.

"You have to stop saying that, please Howard..." he begged, holding his face gently between trembling hands.

"But it'll never be enough..."

"It will! It is."

Howard tried to give him a watery smile, but he broke down again. "I won't leave you ever again – I promise. These past two years... I've missed you **so** much, Vince."

Vince looked at him seriously. "Me too. But your life, everything you worked for -"

"It doesn't mean anything without you."

"Howard, listen to me. Marriage aside, you had a great life there. What about the club? You were doing what you always wanted – it made you happy, and you deserved it. You weren't happy here."

"I am now. And I can do all that here. I've got more experience now – I can make it work, and not just for me – for us."

Vince smiled. "Really?"

"Really," Howard said, giving him a quick but gentle kiss.

"You love New York, though."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

Vince managed small laugh. "I won't be making that mistake again. I was just -"

Howard put a finger to his lips. "I know." He looked deeply into Vince's eyes, searching for something. He could get lost in those deep pools of blue. He smiled softly. "Your sparkle's back."

Vince crinkled his brow, looking adorably cute as he did so. "What?"

"Your sparkle – last time I saw you..." he shuddered, remembering how devastated Vince had been. "All the light had gone from you – I'd never seen your eyes look so empty."

They sat there silently for a moment, just looking at each other. Vince rubbed his thumbs under Howard's eyes and wiped away the rest of his tears.

"Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?" Howard suddenly said.

Vince smiled shyly. "Shut up – I'm a mess."

Howard grinned at him. "Even so..."

Vince shoved him gently and Howard chuckled.

"But seriously," he said, when he'd stopped, "you are."

"Yeah, well," Vince said, blushing slightly, "you can talk. Look at you, all handsome in your suit."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but it's not a regular thing. I dressed in a hurry and it was the first thing I grabbed."

"Even so..." Vince said, repeated Howard's earlier phrase, a cheeky expression crossing his features. However, it was only brief. "Howard – what happens now? I mean, you are still married."

Howard's face fell as his thoughts turned back to his wife. "Jenna's applied for an annulment, so I'll have to go back at some point."

Vince nodded. "Okay."

"Hey," Howard said, stroking his cheek. "It'll be all right, little man... what?" he said, noticing how Vince's face had just lit up.

"Nothing, I just... it's been ages since you've called me that – I've missed it." His eyes watered again, and Howard pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tightly.

"I never, ever thought I'd see you again. It scared me so much," Vince whimpered against him. "Kiss me again."

Howard happily obliged.


	9. A Break in the Gloom

**A/N: This chapter contains lots of fluff. I thought it would make a nice change, before the angst starts up again! I mentioned a few chapters ago about Vince doing comedy, and so I've mentioned it in this chapter, although I'm still not sure yet if I have the courage to actually write him doing it! Once again, thanks for your reviews – they really make me smile!"**

**xxxx**

Sunlight broke through the clouds and streamed through the gap in the curtains, illuminating the face of Vince Noir and awakening him from his peaceful slumber. He moaned softly as he came to, rubbing at his eyes and stretching his arms out. One of them connected with something soft and warm next to him, and he smiled sleepily, rolling over, bringing him face to face with the sleeping form of Howard Moon. He propped himself up on his elbow and studied Howard's face intently, drinking in his now relaxed features, the worry and the stress having seemingly slipped away – for now, at least. A sudden stab of guilt in his chest told him that he shouldn't be so happy, that there was a woman on the other side of the Atlantic with a broken heart, but he couldn't help it. He'd wanted this for so long, dreamed of it... ached for it.

Howard stirred, snuffling slightly. Vince grinned, and kissed him softly to wake him fully. He soon felt Howard smiling under his lips.

"Morning," he said happily, rubbing his nose against the one of the man below him.

"Morning, little man." He reached up to touch Vince's cheek, and the smaller man pushed into his hand, savouring the feel of the warm skin against his. "Sleep well?"

Vince smiled cheekily, and traced a finger over Howard's lips, making him shiver. "Mmm, for some reason, I was..." he gave him a small kiss, "completely," kiss, "utterly," kiss, "exhausted." When he kissed him again, Howard held him down, deepening it and making him moan. He pushed him back down into the bed, moving over the top of him. Vince sighed happily, arms going round Howard's back, fingers tracing circles on his bare skin, enjoying the feel of goose-bumps rising on the surface.

Howard nudged Vince's thighs apart with his leg and settled himself between them as he broke the kiss, trailing his lips down his neck, over his collar bone and down his chest. Vince squirmed under his ministrations, emitting little gasps of pleasure the further Howard went, down, down, down, until...

"**Vince?!"**

Both men let out a groan of frustration as Naboo's lisping voice came wafting through the bedroom door. Howard rested his head on Vince's stomach before looking up at him.

"I suppose we'd better go and tell him."

Vince pouted as his hands went to Howard's hair, idly playing with the soft strands. "Can't we just hide here for the rest of the day and do it later?"

"**Vince!"**

Howard sat up, pulling Vince with him. "The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can..."

Vince looked at him wickedly. "The sooner we can what?"

Howard grinned, a mischievous glint in his eye. "The sooner we can..." he grabbed Vince and tickled him, making the smaller man cry out with laughter.

"No, no... stop!" he squealed, trying to grab at Howard's hands. He finally managed to escape by flinging himself off of the bed, landing on the floor with a thump, still giggling breathlessly.

"Vince?"

"I'm okay," he said, pushing himself up and crawling back onto the bed, watching Howard warily in case he went for him again. "You stay right there," he commanded, as he saw Howard's face twitch slightly.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"You know very well what."

Howard grinned and stood up, looking round for his clothes.

"**Vince! Look, I don't care who you've got in there, just get out here, you ball-bag!"**

"I'm coming!" Vince shouted back, earning himself a sly smile from the jazz maverick standing at the side of the bed. He shook his head with mock disappointment. "Howard Moon - I never knew you could be so filthy." Without warning, he launched himself off the bed, flying at Howard, wrapping his arms and legs around him.

Howard stumbled slightly before getting his balance, arms going around Vince's back.

"You're not the only one who can fly at people," Vince said, laughing slightly, and he placed a kiss to his new lover's forehead.

"God, you weigh a ton."

"Oi!" Vince couldn't help but smile though, and he reluctantly slid out of Howard's arms, feet landing lightly on the floor. "Suppose we'd better get dressed before Naboo has a fit. Don't want him bursting in here while we're still starkers."

Howard shuddered at the thought.

xxxx

Naboo looked at them both with an unreadable expression on his face. "Well, I'm happy for the both of you," he said, "but you've got a lot to sort out, Howard – you've been a bit of muppet, haven't you?"

"Yeah, thanks Naboo," Howard said, frowning at him. The tiny blue shaman still amazed him. He'd barely batted an eyelid when Howard had followed Vince into the living room, although Bollo had given him his trademark grunt of disapproval – no doubt because of how upset Vince had been.

"Right, we're off to Shamansbury's," Naboo announced, standing up. "Come on Bollo."

Vince and Howard watched them leave, breathing sigh of relief as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Welcome home," Vince said, squeezing his partners hand gently.

Howard smiled and gave him a quick kiss. "You hungry?"

"Starving," Vince said, somewhat over-dramatically.

xxxx

Vince locked the front door and stood on the pavement beside Howard. "Where we going, then?"

Howard shrugged. "Let's just walk and see where we end up, shall we?" He held out his hand.

Vince grinned. He'd grabbed hold of Howard's hands loads of times, but not like this. This was different, not a fleeting moment as they had been before. Not because they we're running from danger or were upset or scared, not for comfort... this would be proper, two people in love, hand holding. Vince took hold of it – it fit perfectly in his, and sent a little, pleasant spark of electricity up his arm.

Howard cupped his cheek. "Okay?"

"Perfect."

They set off down the street, Vince swinging their arms as they walked in the sunshine, feeling on top of the world. He smiled at everyone who passed them – he couldn't help it. Howard laughed at him affectionately.

"What?"

"Nothing, little man. Come on, let's go in here." He pulled them into a pizzeria, choosing a table by the window. A waitress came over and took their order, all the while smiling flirtatiously at Vince. Vince, however, only gave her a brief, polite smile before moving his gaze back to Howard. The girl's face fell, and she waltzed off to get their drinks.

"You know, with everything that's been going on, I never even asked – what have you been doing with yourself?"

Vince looked at him coyly, and then glanced out the window. Howard's eyes widened in surprise.

"Have you gone all shy?"

Vince was, indeed, blushing.

"What? It can't be that bad, unless... you're not a porn star now, are you?" he smirked, making Vince laugh.

"I... I don't want to say."

'Why not?" Howard asked, reaching over the table and taking his hand, rubbing small circles over it with his thumb.

Vince sighed. He knew he wasn't going to get out of it. "Okay, but don't laugh," he warned. "I've been working the circuit."

Howard's eyebrows shot up. "You're making yourself sound very much like a prostitute. Oh, God, you haven't -"

"No!" Vince cried, a little too loudly. He lowered his voice. "I meant the 'comedy' circuit." He looked out of the window again, suddenly finding a pigeon eating bread off the pavement very interesting.

Howard gave him a nudge with his leg under the table. "Hey – Vince, look at me." He waited for his partner to turn his head before continuing. "That's brilliant," he smiled, looking at him in awe. "How did you get into that?"

Vince shrugged. "It was Naboo's idea really." The waitress came over with their drinks then, and he paused, waiting for her to leave before continuing. "What you said, about conforming to fit in with everyone else – you were right. It wasn't stable, I was just going from group of shallow people and idiots to the next. But I still wanted to entertain, and Naboo said why don't I try comedy – he said my unique take on things was quite amusing, although I'm still not sure whether that was meant to be an insult or not. Anyway, I gave it a go, and the first time it was terrifying because what I was doing was so different to everyone elses that I was sure I'd get booed off stage – but I didn't. I actually ended up really enjoying it."

Howard beamed at him proudly. "Vince – that's amazing! I always knew you were worth so much more. You really deserve it. Do you get a lot of work?"

Vince, still blushing slightly, nodded. "Yeah, it's going really well."

"You know I'm going to have to come and see you now."

"What? No, Howard..."

"What's wrong?"

"It's, it's just... well, you might think it's really awful, and if I know you're there watching... I don't want to mess up in front of you."

"You won't," Howard said, looking at him so sincerely that Vince found he couldn't argue with him anymore.

Their pizza was brought over then, and they both tucked into it hungrily, smiling at each other occasionally, revelling in being in each other's company again.

In two days time, Howard had to go back to New York, and they were both trying hard not think of what would happen there. It certainly wasn't going to be a pleasant experience.


	10. Turbulence

**A/N: A little bit more fluff for you, with a tiny angsty bit, just to ease you all back into it... I've had a bit of a wicked idea for something which will happen in a couple of chapters time, or possibly even the next chapter, so consider this your warning! By the way, I am just like Howard when it comes to flying – I'm such a wimp! **

**Thanks for your continued support:)**

**xxxx**

"Vince... are you sure you want to come?"

Vince looked up at Howard from his position on the sofa, where was sorting out his passport and money. "Howard, I want to be there for you, but if it's going to be a problem... I don't want to 'cause any hassle for you. I don't mind hiding out of sight in the hotel room, I just want to be there for you when you come back at the end of the day, so you've got someone." He looked down at the floor sadly.

Howard sat down next to him and pulled him into a hug, kissing the top of his head. "I know, little man. I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable, that's all. And you don't have to hide away all day – go shopping, see the sights.

"How can I shop when you're -"

Howard cut Vince off by putting a finger to his lips. "Stop worrying – it'll be fine. Now, come on, the taxi will be here in a minute. You got everything?"

Vince offered him a small smile. "Yeah."

xxxx

Howard shifted from foot to foot nervously, his hands clasped tightly together.

"What's wrong?" Vince asked, frowning at him.

Howard let out a trembling breath. "Oh, you know, just... flying."

Vince took hold of his arm. "Sorry, I guess I assumed you'd gotten over that."

"Nope. When I first went over I went by ship. I only flew back here because I couldn't wait to get to you. I was terrified. I think the stewardess thought I was some kind of mentalist, the way I kept gripping the arms of the seat."

"You mean, you got on a plane just for me?" Vince looked at him wide-eyed, adoration lighting up his features.

Howard looked at him shyly. "It was worth it." He looked up at the TV screen above them and saw that the number for their gate had come up. "Come on then."

Vince slid his hand into his partner's. "You'll be fine – I'll look after you."

xxxx

Now Vince was with him, Howard didn't actually feel that bad. They were half way into the flight, and he was sat comfortably reading a book, one hand idly playing with Vince's hair. The electro boy himself was slumped against him, fast asleep, as he had been for the past two hours.

The plane jolted suddenly, and Howard jumped, accidentally hitting Vince with his shoulder, rudely waking him up.

"What going on?" he said, sleepily, not sounding at all happy at being disturbed from his peaceful slumber.

"Sorry," Howard said, his voice high and strained as the plane continued to lurch.

Vince noticed he was gripping the arms of the seat, and he reached out and took his hand. "Hey, it's all right – just a bit of turbulence."

Howard closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "Just a bit?" he said, through gritted teeth.

There was a 'ding', and the seat-belt light came on.

"Great," he muttered, face an unflattering shade of pale, as he belted up. "God, I feel sick."

"You're not gonna be sick."

"We're going to die."

"We're not gonna die."

"Oh, my God! The world is on its side – why is the world on its side? Look! Look out the window! Oh, no, don't... don't look. Bad idea."

"The world isn't on its side – the plane is."

"What?!"

"Howard, you have got to relax. We're fine, the plane is fine. Besides, I told you I'd look after you, didn't I? Nothing bad is going to happen – I promise."

"Is the plane still on its side?"

Pause.

"No. Oh, no... wait... yeah, it is."

"My head's spinning."

"You're fine."

"No, I'm not, I'm not fine. I'm panicking. I'm panicking and -" he was abruptly cut off by Vince kissing him hard on the mouth. He pulled back after a few seconds, leaving Howard looking slightly dazed, a bit of colour creeping back into his cheeks.

"Feeling better?"

Howard gave him a dopey smile. "I think so. Could you do it again though, just to make sure?"

Vince grinned.

xxxx

Vince clutched Howard's arm, half asleep, as they walked out of the airport. Howard was pushing their luggage (which was really mostly Vince's luggage, as Howard only had the small holdall he'd gone back to London with) on a trolly towards the car park.

"Here we are," he finally said, as they reached his car, which was an old, red Ford Mustang.

"Cool car," Vince said, approvingly, running his hand along the side.

Soon they were pulling out into the early evening traffic, windows rolled down to let in the cool breeze, which was mostly to help keep Howard awake as he drove.

"Is it weird, driving on the other side of the road?" Vince asked.

Howard gave him a side-long glance and a smile. "You get used to it. Can you reach into the glove box and grab my sunglasses?"

Vince opened it up and shuffled things around. "You've got a lot of crap here."

"It's all necessary."

"Hmm. Here you go," he said, handing the shades over so Howard could shield his gaze from the setting sun. "What's this?" He picked up a key-ring, which was actually a photo-fob of Howard and...

"What's what?" Howard said, glancing at Vince's hands. "Oh. I'm sorry, Vince – I didn't even realise it was still in there," he apologised, sounding guilty.

"S'ok," Vince said, quietly, turning the fob over in his hand. He held it for a second, then placed it back in the glove box. He didn't want to see Jenna's smiling face – it only served to remind him of the mess that Howard was in.

"Vince?"

Vince turned and looked out of the window, biting down on his lip to stop the tears that were welling in his eyes.

Howard pulled the car over. "Vince," he said again, leaning over and taking hold of his hand. "I really didn't know. Honest."

Vince sniffed. "It's not that."

Howard thought for a moment, then nodded in understanding and said, "It made it more real."

"Yeah," Vince said, and then he turned and flung his arms around the Maverick's neck, holding him tight. "It'll be all right, won't it?" he whispered into his neck.

Howard kissed his cheek and stroked his hair. "Of course it will."

xxx

"Wow, Howard – have you seen this view?"

Howard wandered over to join Vince by the large window in their hotel room. It was dark now, and the lights of the city were twinkling brightly, bathing New York in an orange glow.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Stunning," Howard replied, his voice husky, and it was then that Vince noticed he was looking at him and not the view. He blushed prettily, inhaling deeply as Howard put two fingers under his chin and tilted his head up, leaning in for a kiss.

It was a perfect, text book romantic moment – which was spoiled a few seconds later when Vince yawned widely. He blushed even more. "I'm so sorry!"

Howard chuckled. "Don't be, we've had a long day. Come on, time for bed."


	11. Jenna's Revenge

**A/N: I'm sorry for the end of this, I really am! But you know I love you all, right?**

**xxxx**

Howard tried not to disturb Vince as he got ready the next morning – the man in question was sleeping soundly, sprawled across the double bed, half wrapped in the duvet with his raven hair splayed out over the white pillow, making him look like a gothic angel. Howard smiled as he looked down at him, adjusting his tie as he did so. Walking over to the desk in the corner of the room, he scribbled him a note and then put it on his bedside table along with something else, bending down to give him a gentle kiss on the forehead.

Vince stirred and mumbled something incoherent, his eyes opening slowly. Howard winced slightly.

"Sorry," he whispered, running his hand over Vince's cheek.

Vince gave him a sleepy smile. "S'ok. Are you going?"

"Yeah," Howard nodded, perching on the edge of the bed and tugging at the cuffs of his suit jacket. He wasn't very good at hiding his nerves, and Vince noticed this straight away. He pushed himself up and put his arms around him from behind, placing his chin on his shoulder and inhaling the desirable scent of his aftershave – but now was not the time to think about that.

"Hey," he said softly. "You'll be fine. If you need me, I'll come running – promise."

Howard turned his head so that they were face to face. "Thank you," he said, kissing the tip of Vince's nose. He sighed. "I suppose I'd better get going."

Vince watched as he reached the door, then called his name. Howard turned, his eyes questioning.

"I love you."

In an instant, Howard was in front of him, leaning down and kissing him full on the lips. When he pulled away, leaving Vince breathless, he replied, "I love you too."

Vince grinned as he watched him leave, stretching out on the bed when the door closed with a soft click. Rolling over, he saw the folded note on the bedside table, and he picked it up, a plastic card falling from inside it and onto the bed – Howard's credit card. He frowned slightly, opening the note.

**Vince,**

**Didn't want to wake you. I'm not sure how long I'll be, but I don't want you cooped up all day, so take my card and go shopping, or whatever takes your fancy. And don't worry, I'll be okay.**

**Don't get into trouble!**

**All my love,**

**Howard xx**

Vince smiled and shook his head, tossing the credit card back onto the table. Normally he would be offended, but it was Howard, and he knew he meant well. Vince was grateful, but he wasn't going to spend his money. However, he would spend his own, and buy Howard a present in the process.

xxxx

Howard sat across from his lawyer and sighed, running a hand through his hair for the hundredth time. The annulment process, as he was beginning to find out, was going to take a lot longer than he'd anticipated, as well as more expensive. Jenna was sitting a little away from him, a frown on her tired face, hands clasped in her lap as she stared out the window. They hadn't said much to each other, just answer the lawyer's questions as best they could, although Jenna had sniped a bit when Howard had had to explain why he had married her under false pretences. That had been a humiliating experience to say the least.

They'd just finished filling out a mountain of forms, and Howard's mind was starting to stray more and more towards Vince, hoping he was okay.

Jenna looked at him then, catching him off guard, and he froze at the expression on her face, almost unreadable, but there was something in her eyes, something which Howard couldn't quite fathom. He swallowed hard, turning his head quickly when the lawyer cleared his throat.

Later, when he left the office, that look was still playing on his mind in the most unpleasant way, and he couldn't wait to get back to the welcoming arms of his love.

xxxx

Vince's day hadn't gone so badly, but that wasn't before he'd battled with the subway and worked out where he was actually going. The crowds were worse than they were in London, and it had taken a while for Vince to get used to it, not happy that he was getting shoved into every two seconds.

Now, he had just arrived back at the hotel, pleased that he had got back before Howard, but still disappointed not to see him. But at least he would be there for him when he got back, which had been the plan all along anyway.

He lay a small bag on the bed and wandered into the bathroom, stopping at the mirror and fussing with his hair. He sprayed it with some dry shampoo to freshen it up, massaging it in until it looked almost as good as new. The pollution in New York was definitely not good for his glossy locks.

The door went then, and he jumped back out with a huge grin, which dropped when he saw how tired Howard was, but he did seem to brighten considerably when he saw Vince.

"C'mere you," he said, as Vince hovered near the bathroom door.

Vince went to him, loving the feeling of being gathered up in Howard's arms. Howard kissed his head and gazed down at him fondly, hand stroking his cheek.

"I've missed you."

Vince smiled sweetly. "Missed you too." The smile then fell slightly. "How did it go?"

Howard sighed and pulled him over to the bed, sitting down and pulling Vince onto his lap, leaning his head against his chest. "Not great – it has to go through the courts and could take up to a year, maybe even longer..."

"What?!" Vince instantly regretted the raising of his voice, and looked at Howard apologetically. "Sorry."

"Don't be – we'll get through it, okay?" he said, rubbing Vince's arm.

Vince nodded, then his eyes widened in panic. "You don't have to stay here, do you?"

"No. But I will have to come back every so often."

Vince swallowed. "What... what did Jenna say?"

"Not much. Anyway, that doesn't matter at the moment. How was your day?"

"It was all right," he said, reaching across the bed and picking up the bag he'd dropped there. He pulled out a box and handed it to Howard.

"What's this?" he asked, genuinely surprised.

Vince shrugged shyly. "Thought you could do with cheering up."

Howard took the lid off the box, his eyes lighting up when he saw what was inside. On a bed of blue velvet lay a pair of silver cuff links in the shape of a treble clef.

"Oh, Vince – they're beautiful."

"I though they'd look nice with your suit," he said, shyly.

Howard grinned. "Thank you – I love them. You shouldn't have though." He reached up and pulled Vince's face to his, giving him a soft kiss. "So, what else did you get?"

"Nothing. And I left your card here, by the way. It was very nice of you, but I didn't need it."

Howard kissed him again. "You're amazing."

"Mmm, not so bad yourself." Vince turned in Howard's lap and pushed him down into the mattress, smothering his face and lips in kisses.

An incessant knocking on the door seconds later rudely interrupted them, and they sat up with a groan.

"Who is it?!" Howard called out, impatiently.

"**Room service!"**

Howard looked at Vince. "Did you order anything?"

Vince shook his head, cheeks flushed.

Howard got up and went over to the door, running a hand through his dishevelled hair. As he pulled it open he gasped, the person on the other side barging into the room and slamming the door shut.

"Jenna!"

Jenna pursed her lips, a look of hatred on her face. "So, you're here with **him**!" she spat, glaring at Vince and making him squirm uncomfortably.

Howard's eyes flashed angrily. "How did you know where I was staying?"

Jenna shrugged. "I followed you." She made to walk towards Vince, but Howard stepped in front of her.

"What do you want, Jen?"

She looked at him, a fake smile now plastered over her pretty features. "I had a feeling you weren't here alone, so I thought, well, why not?"

Howard eyed her suspiciously. "Why not what?"

Jenna looked over Howard's shoulder at Vince. "Why not see what the competition was."

Howard rubbed his eyes despairingly. "What do you mean 'competition'? Look, I'm so sorry, Jenna – I really, truly am. But I'm with Vince now – there is no competition."

"Yes, there is," she whispered, face suddenly looking murderous, which was confirmed when she pulled something out from the inside of her coat, standing back so she had a clear view of Vince, who gasped and shifted backwards on the bed – not that it offered any protection.

Howard held his hand up shakily towards Jenna in a defensive gesture. "What the hell are you doing?!"

Jenna's voice shook as she spoke, tears welling in her eyes. "I won't do it – I won't do it if you come back to me. If you don't, then I'll kill him."

A strangled sound got caught in Vince's throat as the blood drained from his face, and he gripped the sheets in fear.

"You've ruined me – and I'll ruin him if you don't come back to me."

Howard trembled violently as he took a step forward towards her. "Put it down, please Jenna," he begged. "It doesn't have to be like this."

"Yes, it does." She swung her arm towards him and he froze. "Move over to that corner – do it!"

Howard moved, catching Vince's eye as he went across the room, trying to tell him with a look that it would be all right.

Jenna reached behind her and locked the door.

"Now," she said, gun wavering in her hand. "What's it gonna be?"


	12. An Impossible Situation

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is rather short, it was just a good place to stop it (good for me, not for you – apologies). I hope I've written it okay – I didn't want it to drag out for ages, because that doesn't always happen, and I pictured it all quick and up-in-the-air and panicked. Whether it sounds like that or not, I don't know! Thanks for reviewing!**

**xxxx**

Vince trembled violently, trying with all his might not to cry. He desperately wanted to look at Howard, but he was too scared to take his eyes off the gun – too scared to speak or move. His bright blue eyes watered threateningly, and he dug his fingernails into his hands in order to try and keep in control.

"Such a pretty face," Jenna said, sounding wistful. "Very charismatic, and quite the fashionista - I can see why you like him, although, I still don't get the whole 'gay' thing, because you really don't look the type," she told Howard, a slight look of puzzlement on her face.

Howard, backed up into a corner, was trying to think fast, his eyes darting between Jenna and Vince. "Is there a type? Look, we've already been through all this a thousand times. I've explained it over and over and you've screamed at me over and over – I don't know what else to tell you."

"Have you made a decision yet?" she said, ignoring everything he'd just said. "It would be such a shame to ruin that face..." She stared at Vince wickedly, making him shrink back further against the head of the bed, knuckles white as they grasped the sheets.

"Jenna... what you want - it's never gonna work, is it? If I go back to you, what will stop me from running as soon as your back's turned? Now, just put the gun down, and we'll forget this ever happened, okay?"

Jenna looked round at him like a frightened deer. "No! No, it's not okay! You're mine – you're **my **husband, not his! That's... this is wrong, it's all wrong! You're both wrong!" she shouted.

Howard was actually quite pleased about that, because it meant that there was more of a chance of someone hearing what was going on, in case he couldn't talk her out of it.

"I'll just have to know where you are all the time then, won't I? And... and your passport! I'll take your passport and then you'll never be able to go back!"

"Jen -"

"Shut up! I mean it, Howard – I'll do it, I'll kill him! And I swear, if you come back to me and then try anything... I won't hesitate to ring someone in London, and you'll wish you'd did as you were told!"

Howard's jaw dropped. "You wouldn't... you..."

Jenna glared at him. "Do not underestimate me Howard Moon. I gave you **everything**. Does that not mean anything to you? Wasn't I good enough? Wasn't I a good, loving wife?"

"Of course you were! But you know why -"

"I thought you loved me!"

"I do! Just not in the way you want me too, and I'm so sorry, but can't you see? If I go back to you, you'll just be miserable, knowing I don't love you like that. Don't you want to find someone who **will**?"

"But I love **you** – I don't want anyone else. Now," she said, rather business like, "make your decision." She cocked the gun, making both men inhale sharply, and she aimed it at Vince's head, hand a lot steadier than it had been previously, determination flooding her crazed eyes.

Howard moved forward slightly, treading very,** very** carefully. "Jenna, I know you don't want to do this – you'll regret it. It's not who you are, you're not a bad person. You couldn't take someone's life."

"I told you – don't underestimate me." Her finger went to pull on the trigger, and Howard cried out.

"NO!"

Jenna paused, thinking she was about to get her way. She looked at him, perfectly shaped eyebrows raised expectantly.

Howard stood shakily, his cheeks becoming wet as frightened tears escaped his eyes. He clenched his fists, trying to calm himself so he could speak without his voice cracking. "I'm not going to let you kill him, Jenna. I love him, I really **love **him – I can't even begin to tell you just how much. He's my whole world – my life and soul." Tears fell down his face, but he didn't wipe them away; he barely noticed them. "And if going with you means that he'll live, then I'll do it, because I'd rather live without him, knowing he was alive, than live knowing he was dead." His voice broke towards the end as he held Jenna's gaze, which was interrupted a split second later when Vince moved towards the end of the bed, demanding his estranged wife's attention. His adrenaline pumping, he bravely, and, perhaps, rather stupidly, locked focus with her, his face a mixture of emotions as he struggled to keep his voice in check, and said:

"Kill me."

Howard's stomach flipped and his eyes widened in horror. "Vince! What are you doing?!"

But Vince didn't look at him, all his attention was on the unhinged woman in front of him as he spoke with a trembling voice, the bright light from the ceiling shining on his face, illuminating his cheekbones and making the dampness left there by his tears glisten. "If Howard stays here with you, then I'll have nothing to live for. I can't live without him, not now. I barely managed before – if you take him away, it'll destroy me, so you might as well put me out of my misery now, and let Howard have his freedom."

"Vince, no! I won't let you, I can't... you can't!" Howard sobbed, and he went to reach out to him, but stopped, flinching, when Jenna pointed the gun at him.

"How touching," she snarled. "But getting rid of you would be my pleasure," She moved the gun back to Vince.

Howard barely had time to react, knowing that this time, there would be no stopping her. He leapt forward, shoving Vince to one side as a loud bang rang out through the room.

There was a scream.

Jenna froze and dropped the gun.

Blood seeped into the cream carpet, the scarlet stain spreading as the fibres soaked it up.

A man's voice cried out, panicked and begging.

A pigeon stared in through the window.

Colours faded to black.

The world stopped spinning.

Time froze.


	13. You Were Worth It

**A/N: I couldn't bare to keep you in suspense, so here is the next chapter. Things will get moving properly again in the next one! Thanks for reviewing – they really put a huge smile on my face!**

**xxxx**

Vince's ears were ringing. His head throbbed as everything around him became hazy, moving slowly and fluidly as though he were underwater. His scream echoed painfully in his head as he lay where he'd been pushed to the bed only seconds before. It felt like hours, but really it was only a moment after the shot rang out that comprehension set in and he looked down, fighting the urge to throw up when he saw the love of his life lying broken on his side, blood flowing from a wound in his chest.

"Howard!"

Vince panicked and threw himself to the floor beside him, gently rolling him onto his back and staring wild-eyed at the large, scarlet stain seeping through the material of his shirt. The blood made him dizzy, and he looked up at Jenna, a look on his face that summed up everything he was feeling – if Howard died, then so would she.

Jenna, who was still stood rooted to the spot, watched as Vince pressed his hands over Howard's chest, trying to stem the flow. She vaguely heard footsteps outside the door, and she turned her head towards it, panic replacing the shocked look on her features. She jumped violently when Vince suddenly screamed at her: "Get a fucking ambulance!"

Vince put his face near Howard's, listening to his breathing and trying unsuccessfully not to cry. He lifted a blood soaked hand to Howard's hair and pushed it back out of his eyes, leaving a trail of red over his forehead. "Stay with me," he sobbed, carefully taking him into his arms and rocking him, his cheek resting on the top of Howard's head. "Stay with me... please, stay with me."

Howard's eyes fluttered open. "Vince?" he whispered, painfully, trying to turn his head to look at him.

Vince wanted to jump for joy that Howard was awake, but deep down knew that this development did not mean that everything was going to be okay. He tried to smile reassuringly, tears clouding his vision. "Shhh, it's all right, I've got you."

The door to the room banged open, causing Jenna to yelp. She tried to run, but a pair of strong arms grabbed hold of her. "Let me go!" she screamed. "Howard – I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Vince looked up at the man who was restraining Jenna.

"It's okay – I'm a police officer."

Jenna burst into tears, battling against the restraints of the officer's arms. "I didn't mean too – it was an accident! I didn't mean too..."

A crowd was beginning to gather at the doorway, and the officer shouted out at them. "Someone call 911!"

"Vince... Vince, it hurts."

"I know, darling , I know," Vince said, trying to remain calm for Howard's sake, but his voice still broke, devastated and afraid. He put a hand to Howard's cheek and stroked it lovingly. "We're gonna get you to a hospital, okay? I won't let anything happen to you – I promise."

Howard tried to smile, his face straining from the effort, voice weak and hoarse. "Don't... don't..."

"Shhh."

"Don't make... promises... you can't... keep."

Vince bit down on his lip as he trembled violently. "But... I... you'll be fine – you will."

Howard squeezed his eyes shut tight, trying to clear his failing vision. He opened them again and stared at his boyfriend, who was becoming more and more out of focus. "Vince... Vince, I love you."

"Stop it."

"No... listen to me. I Love you... and I'm so, so, sorry." He started to cry, the shuddering gasps threatening to take the last of his breath. "I don't want to die," he said, heartbreakingly.

Vince let out a loud sob. "Don't say that. You're not going to die – d'you hear me? you're not."

Howard coughed harshly. He grabbed Vince's hand as tightly as he could. "You're worth it though."

Vince looked confused. "What?"

"You're... you're worth... dying for. All this... everything... you were worth it." He used the last of his energy to smile up at him before his eyes closed, the smile fading.

"Howard, no!" Vince cried, tears dripping from his cheeks and onto Howard's shirt. "Wake up... please, wake up! Don't leave me, not again. I love you... I love you." He clutched Howard to him, rocking backward and forward and wailing painfully.

"Hey," a voice beside him said, making him jump. He looked up and saw the police officer, who had managed to bundle Jenna into the grasp of several of the hotel's residents and the manager. They were holding her tightly, making sure she had no means of escape, but Jenna was passive now, her head hanging down, chin on her chest.

The officer pulled his shirt off, scrunching it up and pushing it onto Howard's chest. Vince moved his hand out of the way, but still continued to rock.

"What's his name?" the officer asked, quickly assessing him.

Vince swallowed heavily, trying to remember how to talk. "Howard."

The officer bent down and placed an ear to Howard's mouth. "Howard... Howard, can you hear me?"

Vince shook his head slowly. "He's gone."

"No, he hasn't."

"He has."

"He's still breathing – faintly, but it's there. Are you his...?

Vince blinked, still trying to process the fact that his Howard was still, somehow, clinging to life. "I'm his boyfriend - Vince."

The officer nodded. "Vince, I'm Marcus. The ambulance is on its way, and Howard's going to get the best care possible – just hold tight. Can you tell me what happened?"

"She..." Vince's voice shook, and he fought for control. "Jenna, she's Howard's wife – but they're separated. Well, they're getting an annulment, 'cause, 'cause..."

Luckily, Marcus understood the situation very quickly, and he nodded to let Vince know.

"She followed him back here and threatened to kill me if he didn't go back to her, but when she went to shoot me, he jumped in front of the gun and pushed me out of the way... it should be me lying there!"

Marcus put a hand on his shoulder. "That'll do for now. And it's not your fault – okay?"

Vince sobbed again. "Please don't let him die."

A few minutes later, a commotion at the door alerted them that the emergency services had arrived. Two paramedics rushed to Howard's side, gently prising him away from an emotionally wrecked Vince. Jenna was handcuffed and led away, whilst another police officer knelt down to retrieve the gun, putting it in a plastic evidence bag.

Howard was strapped to a stretcher, oxygen mask over his face, portable heart monitor attached to his chest. Vince followed closely as he was carried out, bloodied hand clasping Howard's for dear life, hoping, desperately hoping, that this wasn't the end.


	14. Recovery

**A/N: Eh... I don't really like this chapter at all. I don't have much medical knowledge, but that aside, I'm still quite disappointed with it – for some reason, I found it really hard to write! Anyhoo, it's done now, so...**

**xxxx**

"Mr Noir?"

Vince jumped up as the doctor came towards him, wringing his hands together anxiously, his face drained. "Howard's okay, isn't he? Can I see him?"

The doctor put his hands up to calm him. "I'm pleased to tell you that the operation was a success – fortunately, the bullet missed Howard's vital organs and we were able to stop the bleeding. However, he lost a lot of blood, and he's still critical, although I'm optimistic that he'll make a full recovery. Considering what could have been, he's a very lucky man."

Vince sighed with relief, his eyes watering. Howard had been in the operating room for what had seemed like hours, and Vince had paced frantically, terrified that Howard wasn't going to make it. He'd resisted the urge to vomit several times, his stomach jumping every time a medic came towards him, constantly on the verge of tears.

They reached Howard's room and the doctor held the door open for Vince. "If you need me, just call one of the nurses," he said.

Vince nodded, taking a deep breath as he walked in, unprepared for what he would see – which was Howard lying still on white sheets, one pulled up to his waist, wires from the monitor that was checking his pulse and blood pressure attached to him, saline drip and pain medication in one arm, a bag of blood going into the other. A tube ran from his mouth to a machine that was helping him to breath, and he was covered in bandages from the incision to his chest.

A sob escaped Vince's throat, and he pressed his hand to his mouth, trembling as he walked over to the bed and sat in the seat beside it, gently taking Howard's hand.

"Hey, you," he whispered, suddenly feeling very stupid. Could Howard even hear him? He stroked his thumb over the back of Howard's hand, tracing circles idly as he stared at his face, the skin sallow and worn. Tears trickled silently down Vince's face. This was all his fault – if he hadn't of gone to the wedding, Howard would never have come back for him, and he'd be happy and safe. Happy and safe in a loveless marriage, but at least he wouldn't be lying in hospital with a serious gunshot wound. "I'm sorry."

Vince leant forward and rested his head on the bed next to Howard's arm, the steady bleeping from the machines eventually pulling him into an uneasy sleep.

xxxx

A mumbling noise disturbed Vince from his light slumber, and he shifted, eyes opening slowly and he blearily tried to focus before he remembered where he was and quickly sat up. He looked at Howard, and saw that his eyes were moving rapidly under his lids.

"Howard?" Vince said, leaning over his partner and stroking a hand over his forehead.

Howard mumbled again, a strangled sound, which was the best he could manage with a tube down his throat. He tried to open his eyes, wincing as the light hit them.

Vince smiled stupidly – he couldn't help himself – before realising that he should maybe call for someone, and he jumped up and ran out of the room, shouting for the nurse.

"He's awake, he's awake!"

The nurse rushed in behind Vince, moving quickly over to the bed. "Howard? Howard, can you hear me?"

Howard blinked up at her and tried to speak, frowning when something scratched against his throat.

"There's a tube in your throat that's helping you to breathe, sweetie," she said, checking his vitals. "I'll go and get the doctor and we'll get it taken out, okay?"

Howard turned his head toward Vince as the nurse left, looking confused and scared, and he reached out his hand weakly. Vince grabbed hold of it and knelt beside him, a fresh wave of tears brimming in his eyes – with all the crying he had been doing, he was surprised he hadn't dried up. He brought his other hand up to Howard's face, running his fingers gently over his cheek to calm him.

"It's okay, I'm here. Gave me quite a fright, you did – scared the life out of me. I thought I'd lost you."

Howard's eyes watered, and Vince instantly regretted his words, realising that, Howard being Howard, he'd feel instantly guilty even though it wasn't even his fault. "No, it's all right," he smiled softly, relieved when Howard seemed to relax slightly.

A few minutes later, the nurse came back with the doctor, and he looked Howard over, checking his stats and making 'hmm' noises to himself.

"Well?" Vince said, impatiently.

"Good, very good. I think we can take this tube out now."

Howard gagged as he felt the tube slide uncomfortably from his throat, coughing as it finally left his mouth. The doctor got him to sit up carefully and drink some water.

"How are you feeling, Mr Moon?"

Howard grimaced and swallowed heavily. "Like... I've been... shot," he said hoarsely, trying to chuckle, but he ended up coughing again instead.

"All right, take it easy now."

When the doctor finally left with the nurse, Howard turned his head towards Vince, managing a small smile as he caught the smaller man's eye.

"You okay?"

Vince laughed – he didn't mean too, but the question sounded so ridiculous that it escaped his lips before he could stop it. "Sorry, it's just..." he gestured at Howard. "And you're asking me if **I'm **okay?" he smiled. "I don't know – you get... and then you..." he trailed off, voice cracking. "I'm sorry. You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me."

Howard frowned and licked his dry lips. "What do you mean?" he rasped uncomfortably.

Vince looked at him, lower lip trembling. "If I hadn't of run in on your wedding -"

"Hey," Howard said, cutting him off. "We don't know that... and I wouldn't..." he coughed, "wouldn't change it for anything. Please... don't blame yourself." He sounded truly devastated at what Vince was saying, and he started to splutter again.

Vince picked up the glass of water from the stand beside the bed. He held it to Howard's mouth, tipping it carefully. "Better?"

Howard nodded. "Thanks," he said, weakly.

Vince pressed a kiss to his head. "Rest now – I'm sorry I upset you. I just couldn't help thinking it."

"S'alright... little man," he replied as he caught his breath. "What happened to Jenna?"

"Howard, I really think -"

"Vince."

Vince sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Last I heard she was in custody – they were bringing some psychiatrist in to see her."

Howard didn't react, just continued to stare at Vince.

"Come on now, rest."

xxxx

"Careful."

"I'm all right, Vince, honestly." Howard stood shakily, and Vince put an arm around his waist, helping him onto the sofa.

"Yeah, you look it." Vince rolled his eyes, hiding a small smile. After a week, Howard had finally being released from hospital, and now that Jenna was currently incarcerated, he had made the decision to go back to his apartment, mostly so he could collect some of his things before they flew back to London in a few days time.

"Nice place."

Hmm? Oh, yeah." Howard winced, and Vince was instantly by his side.

"Can I get you anything?"

Howard smiled and reached out to touch his cheek. "Already got what I need." He settled back into the cushions and pulled Vince against him. "Thank you."

Vince looked up at him. "What for?"

"Taking care of me."

Vince smiled at him affectionately. "Been through a lot, haven't we?"

"Yeah, just a bit. Still, it's going to be all right now, I know it is."

"We still have to come back for court."

"I know, but we'll get through it," Howard said, idly playing with Vince's hair. He yawned.

"Tired?"

Howard shook his head.

"Liar. Come on, let's get you to bed."

"Any excuse," Howard said, laughing lightly.

"Yeah, just you wait till you're better."

"Is that a threat?"

Vince winked at him cheekily.


	15. A Riverside Surprise

**A/N: Thanks everyone for making me feel better about the last chapter, even though I still don't really like it, but that doesn't matter now, 'cause I'm much happier about this one! **

**xxxx**

London - Three Months Later

Vince lay on his front, the hot sun beating down on his back as he picked at blades of grass. "Howard?"

"Yes, my love?" Howard answered in a monotone voice, then pretending to ignore him as he flipped the page of his book, eyes not taking in the words as he hid a smile behind his battered paperback.

"Do you... Howard!"

Nothing.

Vince frowned and sat up. "Oi, small eyes!" he said, becoming annoyed and poking the other man in the side.

Howard didn't flinch, so Vince put his face right up to him, finally catching the cheeky smirk gracing his partner's mouth.

"You – argh!" Vince squealed as Howard threw his book down and grabbed him round the waist, tickling him mercilessly. "Ah! No, Howa... stop it!" he cried, trying to sound angry but failing miserably as he giggled uncontrollably.

Howard stopped tickling him, instead choosing to pin him down and give him a quick but passionate kiss, one that Vince barely had time to register but left him breathless all the same.

Howard picked up his book, chuckling to himself, but put it back down again when he saw the pout on Vince's face. "Yes, little man?"

Vince sat up and crossed his legs, once again picking at the grass. "I only wanted to know if you wanted an ice-cream."

It was a hot July day, and they were lounging on Hampstead Heath in the sunshine, picnic blanket spread out and empty sandwich containers and bottles of drink strewn about them. It had been a stressful few months, and they were taking some well deserved time out to themselves. Howard's gunshot wound had healed nicely, and he was pretty much back to normal – he and Vince had even decided to drop the charges against Jenna in return for her getting proper psychiatric help, and it had turned out that that wouldn't have been for the first time in her life either. Seemed she wasn't the only one who'd been keeping secrets, although Howard did put his hands up and admit that his had been much worse. The annulment was still going through the courts, but it was almost over, helped along quicker by what had happened, and Howard only had to go back to New York one more time before he could close that chapter of his life for good.

Howard put a hand to Vince's face and traced a thumb over his lips, trying to push the corners up into a smile, which Vince eventually did on his own anyway.

"Go on, then," Howard said, digging out some change and handing it to his boyfriend.

Vince jumped up and sashayed off through the crowds of sunbathers, knowing full well that Howard's eyes were on him as he walked away, and he grinned to himself. Maybe he could do something interesting with the ice-cream...

Howard however, whilst he **was** looking at Vince, also had other things on his mind, things that were worrying him. Not bad things, just...

He shook his head. What would be, would be - but he had something he needed to do, and he wasn't going to back out of it because, more than anything, it was something he really, really wanted.

Howard waited patiently for Vince to return, finally spotting him weaving his way through a group of kids playing frisbee. He caught his gaze and held it, winking at Vince as he sat down, revelling in how he could still make him blush with just a look.

Vince held out one of the ice-creams and Howard took it gratefully, licking the bits that were dripping down the cone and savouring the coolness of it.

Vince looked at Howard out of the corner of his eye, slyly checking to see where his gaze was as he flicked his tongue over the creamy whip of his own ice-cream, licking it slowly before taking the flake into his mouth and sucking it teasingly, a naughty glint in his eyes as he realised that yes, he **did **have Howard's attention. He slowly licked away the bits of flake that had stuck to his lips, then caught drips of raspberry sauce on his fingers and licked that away too. He was just about to start nibbling at the cone, when he felt a firm hand grasp his wrist, Howard's mouth right next to his ear, hot breath ghosting his skin and making him shiver.

"Home. Now."

xxxx

"You all right, Howard?"

"Hmm?" Howard looked up from where he had been absentmindedly poking his dinner with his fork, making patterns in the white wine sauce and occasionally mixing some rice in with it, only to separate it again.

Vince took a sip of his pink cocktail. "I said are you all right?"

Howard put his fork down and smiled. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine – was just thinking."

"'Bout what?"

Howard shook his head. "Nothing to worry about."

Vince cocked his head and stared at him. "If it's nothing to worry about, why you being all twitchy?" he said, leaning away from his plate as the waiter came to clear the table.

"Nothing's wrong, I promise," Howard replied after the waiter had left. "Oh, come on, don't sulk."

"I'm not sulking. I just thought we were having a nice dinner."

"We are!"

"Then why do you look so miserable!"

"Vince! Keep your voice down."

Vince put his elbow on the table and rested his chin in his hand, sighing as he tried to think logically. "Is it the annulment? 'Cause you know it'll be over soon, and then -"

"No," Howard cut in. "It's not that."

"Then what?"

Howard reached over the table and took Vince's hand. "I'm sorry – I guess I'm just a bit tired. You wore me out earlier," he said, grinning.

Vince tried to hide a smile behind his hand.

"Is that a smile?"

"No."

"Yes it is – it's a smile."

"S'not."

Howard shook his head, still grinning, and picked up the dessert menu. "Want anything?"

Vince's smiled faded. "That's not just it though, is it?"

Howard sighed. "Vince -"

"Is it me?"

"What? No! Everything's okay - honest."

"I don't believe you. You've been acting all weird ever since we started getting ready to go out."

Howard wrung his hands together nervously, a gesture which Vince noticed.

"Fine." Vince pushed his chair back and grabbed his jacket.

"What... where are you going?! Vince!" Howard stood, cheeks flushing as he felt the eyes of the entire restaurant on him. He pulled some notes out of his wallet and threw them on the table, running out after his irate boyfriend. "Vince!" he called after him, jumping out the way before the restaurant door swung back onto his arm. Vince ignored him and carried on up the pavement, the street lights reflecting off the studs on his jacket. It didn't take long for Howard to catch up though, and he reached out and grabbed his arm, walking in front of him and forcing him to halt.

"Stop, please."

Vince ignored him and shrugged out of his grip, walking off again, going in the direction of the river.

"Vince, look, I'm sorry, okay?" Howard said, walking fast alongside him. They'd had a couple of silly disagreements since they'd become a couple, but they hadn't really argued, and Howard was worried about this escalating into something it really shouldn't.

Vince stomped down the South Bank, walking along the Thames towards the tube station, hands in pockets as he marched purposefully forward.

"Vince, for goodness sake, this is stupid – you're being ridiculous!"

The smaller man stopped suddenly and turned round. "Ridiculous!" he all but screeched, a furious look on his face. "You're the one who was fidgeting and being grumpy and -"

"I was not being grumpy!"

"You were! I thought we were going for a nice night out, but you just -"

"I was just trying to make everything perfect! I was so worried about -"

"What? I didn't need it to be perfect, Howard. I just needed you to smile, to look happy to be with me!"

"Well, it had to be perfect! It mattered to me!"

"Why?! What made tonight different to all the others?!"

"I was nervous because I was going to ask you to marry me!"

Silence.

Vince's face changed instantly, shock replacing anger, a look of surprise gracing his sharp features, his mouth formed into a perfect 'O'. Howard breathed heavily, trying to calm down as he looked away from Vince awkwardly.

When Vince spoke again, his tone was quiet and soft. "Howard?"

Howard shook his head sadly. "Doesn't matter." He turned to walk off, head bowed, but Vince put an arm out and stopped him.

"Don't go," he said, almost whispering, pleading with the man in front of him.

Howard stayed put, but he still wouldn't make eye contact. Instead he looked out over the river, the orange and white lights of the city reflecting in the water, bobbing up and down gently.

"Howard, look at me." Vince put a hand to his face, and eventually managed to turn his head, distraught to find tears in his partner's eyes. **Well done Vince, you idiot**. "Were you really?"

Howard nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"Are you... are you still going too?"

"Do you want me too?"

"Please," Vince said, holding his gaze, own eyes starting to water. He felt himself start to tremble as he let Howard take his hand and lead him over to a bench, his stomach going all topsy-turvy.

Howard sat Vince down and knelt in front of him, watching as Vince bit his lip to stop it wobbling, a tear toppling forward and running down his cheek, catching the light with a sparkle as it made its descent.

"You know, I had this whole big speech prepared and -"

"I don't need a speech. I know how you feel about me – you took a bullet for me!"

Howard smiled at the look of adoration on Vince's face, and it was all the encouragement he needed. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath.

"Will you marry me?"

Vince opened his mouth to answer, but quickly closed it again, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes as he made his face neutral, even managing not to cry, which was really, **really **hard.

"Vince?" Howard suddenly looked worried. Vince wouldn't play with him like that, would he...?

Vince cried out and flung his arms around Howard's neck. "Yes! Yes, I'll marry you!"

Howard stumbled a little as Vince jumped on him, not really annoyed that he'd scared him like that, but all the same... "You little – umph!"

Vince pressed his lips to Howard's, cutting him off. He smiled against him, crying properly now, hands gripping Howard's shirt collar. He pulled back to look at him, smiling insanely.

"Really?" Howard said - just to make sure.

"Yes."

"Say it again."

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" Vince laughed and kissed him again, cheeks glistening.

When they broke away, Howard reached into his pocket and pulled out two boxes, grinning at the way Vince's eyes widened. He opened one of them and took out a beautiful white-gold ring, celtic patterns intricately engraved in the precious metal. He took Vince's hand and slid it onto his finger.

Vince stared at it in awe, holding his hand up to watch the ring reflect in the moonlight.

"Like it?"

"I love it." He smiled prettily, then directed his gaze at the other box. "What's in that one?"

Howard held out his hand and let Vince take the box, his face lighting up as he opened it. "You got one too!"

"What, you didn't think I was going to get the raw end of the deal, did you?" Howard said, grinning at him.

Vince removed the ring from its velvet bed and placed it on Howard's hand, pressing a kiss to it.

"Thank you, Vince."

"What for?"

"For choosing to spend the rest of you life with me." He put a hand to Vince's face and gently wiped the tears from his cheeks.

Vince placed his hand over the top of Howard's. "There never** was **a choice."

They snuggled up together on the bench, watching the stars in the clear, summer night's sky, deliriously happy.

"Howard?"

"Mmm?"

Vince lifted his head from his fiance's shoulder. "I'm sorry for behaving like such a twat."

Howard pressed a kiss to Vince's head. "Don't worry about it, little man."

"Howard?"

"Yeah?"

"I really love you."

Howard kissed him again. "Love you more."

Vince wrinkled his nose. "No, I lo -"

"Shhh."

"Howard?"

Howard laughed. "What?"

"It **was **perfect."


	16. Farewell, New York

**A/N: Thanks for your lovely reviews for the last chapter – I'm glad you liked it! I'm a sucker for fluffiness, as if you couldn't tell! There will probably be just a couple more chapters to go after this one – I'm quite sad about it actually!**

**xxxx**

New York – Five Weeks Later

"Howard!"

Howard turned on his way down the court house steps, watching as Jenna, who had said nothing to him during the entire hearing, came running up behind him. He looked at her warily – after all, she **had **shot him as well as threatened to kill his fiancé.

"Hi, Jenna."

Jenna offered him a small, somewhat awkward smile, her hands twisting together nervously. "I... can we talk?"

Howard studied her closely. "Talk?"

She nodded, and pointed to the park opposite. "We'll be in public."

Howard thought for a second. He supposed it couldn't do any harm, and there would be lots of people around... "Sure."

They walked silently, crossing the busy street and entering the park, finding an empty bench just inside the gates. It was stiflingly hot, and Howard removed his suit jacket and put it down beside him before moving his hands up to loosen his tie. Jenna waited until he was settled before she spoke.

"How are you?"

"Great – I'm great. You?"

"Yeah, I'm good." She paused for a moment, looking down at her hands. "I'm out of hospital now – still in therapy, but getting there."

Howard nodded. "I'm glad you're getting better."

They sat quietly for a while, watching as people on roller-blades skated by, weaving in and out of the other pedestrians effortlessly.

"Howard... I'm sorry. I know what I did was awful, completely unforgivable and I hate myself for it. I never meant to hurt you."

"But you meant to kill my boyfriend?" Howard snapped, anger suddenly overtaking him.

Jenna reddened and bit her lower lip nervously. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Howard sighed and calmed himself. "Well, we've both been stupid, haven't we?"

"Yeah," Jenna replied, leaning back and looking up at the sky. "I never got to thank you for not sending me to jail."

"Don't thank me – it was Vince's idea."

She sat back forward, shocked. "Really? Why?"

"Because he's a good person."

"I... thank him for me. But it still applies to you too – you could have disagreed."

"I know." Howard scuffed his shoe on the path and changed the subject. "What have you been up too?"

"Well... I'm kind of seeing someone."

"You are?"

"Yeah. We met at the hospital – he's a nurse there. Obviously nothing could happen till I'd been discharged, and it's still early days, but I really like him."

Howard smiled, a genuine one which reached his eyes. "That's great – you deserve it."

"Do I?" Jenna said, returning the smile.

"Jen, aside from what you did to me, what I did to **you **was dishonest and hurtful, and I should never have led you on like that. You deserve someone who will truly love you – just you. Maybe this new man is 'the one'."

"Maybe. It'll take some time, but who knows? I... I know you never loved me, not in the way I thought you did anyway, and I've excepted that now - but I do still love you, even after all this."

Howard wasn't quite sure what to say to that, so in the end he just grinned in what he hoped was a humorous way, and said, "You'll get over it."

Jenna laughed.

"I suppose I ought to tell you - " Howard said, becoming serious, "Vince and I are getting married."

"Oh." Jenna looked slightly shocked, but her expression quickly changed to something more enthusiastic. "Congratulations. I'm happy for you – really, I am. Vince is very lucky."

Howard's face lit up at the thought of him. "So am I."

Jenna grinned. "He's quite beautiful, you know."

"He certainly is." Howard looked at his watch, then looked at Jenna apologetically. "I'm sorry, I've got to go - have to grab my stuff from the hotel and get to the airport."

"Oh, sure."

They stood, awkwardly, neither one really knowing how to say good-bye. In the end, Howard graciously offered Jenna a hug, one she happily excepted.

"I'll never forget you, you know. I don't regret the time we had."

Howard smiled. "I did genuinely care about you, Jenna – don't ever think I didn't. Now, you take care, okay? And make sure this new guy looks after you."

"I will. Have a great life, Howard."

"You too."

xxxx

Heathrow Airport – London

Vince rocked back and forth on his heels excitedly. Howard had only been away a few days, but Vince had missed him almost painfully. It had been getting too expensive for them to both fly backwards and forwards and so, despite his fear of flying, Howard had bravely set out on his own.

As a crowd of travellers started to make their way into arrivals, Vince scanned them with a big grin on his face, almost shrieking when he finally spotted Howard. He ran towards him, knocking the breath out of him as he leapt up and wrapped his legs around his waist.

"Oof!" Howard chuckled, letting go of his luggage and wrapping his arms around the smaller man. "Hey there, little man."

"Imssdou."

"You what?"

Vince lifted his head from where it had been buried in Howard's shoulder and beamed at him. "I've missed you."

Howard kissed him softly. "Missed you too."

Vince eventually slid down to the ground, but left his arms around his fiancé's neck. "Is it really all over now?"

Howard stroked Vince's raven hair tenderly. "Yeah, it's all over."

Vince hugged him tightly, then stood back and took Howard's hand, pulling him towards the exit. "So – did you get me a present?"

Howard laughed. "Cheeky minx – wait and see. You been all right?"

"Yup – been working on some new material."

"Really?"

"Yeah, figured it was time I got back into it."

Howard grinned. "Good. What have you got?"

"You'll have to 'wait and see'," Vince said, mimicking Howard, tongue peeking out the corner of his mouth.

"Oh, so I'm allowed to come now, then?"

Vince smiled shyly. "I guess so. Just don't -"

"What? Laugh at you? The one time I'm supposed to?"

Vince gave Howard's arm a playful punch. "You know what I mean."

Howard squeezed his hand. "You'll be great."

xxxx

After battling the tube and rush-hour commuters, Howard and Vince finally arrived back at the flat.

"Hey Naboo, Bollo." Howard smiled at the tiny shaman and his ape familiar as he reached the top of the stairs, dropping his bag to the floor with a thud.

Bollo gave his trademark grunt, but at least Naboo smiled at him.

"Hey, Howard. How did it go?"

Howard flopped onto the sofa tiredly, pulling Vince down with him. "It went well. I'm just glad it's all over."

"Tea?" Bollo offered. The men in the living room nodded gratefully.

Howard yawned, and he put an arm out as a signal for Vince to snuggle into him, which he happily did, and five minutes later Howard was fast asleep, much to Bollo's annoyance, who now had a spare cup of tea which was going cold.

"Leave 'im alone, Bollo – he's jet-lagged," Vince scolded, kicking his boots off and stretching his legs out, ruffling Howard's hair lovingly.

"So," Naboo said, "I suppose you can get on with planning the wedding now."

Vince grinned, his eyes sparkling. "I already have a bit, but shhh," he said, putting a finger to his lips.

Naboo rolled his eyes. "Should've known. I thought you were meant to be doing it together?"

"We **are**. Doesn't stop me looking though, does it? I'm not gonna make any decisions without him, but I've got some great ideas, especially for outfits," Vince beamed, looking very pleased with himself.

"Mmm. Something Howard will like, or something that **you **like?"

Vince looked affronted. "Give me **some** credit, Naboo."

Naboo took a gulp of tea. "Yeah, all right."


	17. Vince Noir, Electro Comic

**A/N: Okay, firstly, I'm really sorry I've taken so long to update, but as most of you probably already know, I've had severe writer's block, and I'm still not sure how to go about my other stories yet! Secondly, I grabbed some courage from somewhere and wrote Vince's stand-up in, which I'm still not sure about, and I might have ruined the whole thing, so if it's really bad, when the next chapter is up, just forget this one ever happened! The routine is completely Noel's (stuff he performed at the TCT the other night – I thought I'd share some of it with you, he was awesome!), and I take no credit whatsoever. I transcribed it from videos on YouTube, so it might not be perfect, and I had to change the bit about Hackney, just because Noel states he used to live there, while Vince still does. Sorry it rambles on a bit, but Noel's jokes go on for ages! They are genius though. There is a bit of swearing in this chapter, in the jokes, and I did think about taking it out, but then we've all heard Vince swear, and I gave him a sort of excuse for it at the end! And Noel takes the piss out of himself a bit, but I figured Vince would now, too, because of how much he's changed.**

**There is a scene of a sexual nature in this chapter, dedicated to Violence, 'cause we were talking about it the other day, so I said I'd put it in a story somewhere for her. I don't think it's too graphic, but if you want the rating upped to an 'M', just let me know and I'll change it.**

**Anyway, sorry about the ramble. Hope you like it!**

**xxxx**

Five days later.

Howard groaned as the duvet was pulled from him, and he shivered as he tried desperately to clutch it back to his naked torso. After a few unsuccessful attempts, he began to awaken fully, and it was then that he noticed Vince thrashing about beside him, whimpering painfully, the duvet wrapped around his legs. Howard sat up, concern creasing his brow, and he leant over Vince to gently stroke the hair back from his face, noticing, to his horror, that his fiancé was crying, tears leaking out the corners of his eyes and glinting in the moonlight. As soon as Howard touched a hand to his face, Vince instantly shot upright, gasping and clutching at the bed-sheet, a sob escaping his lips as he trembled. Howard put his arms around him and Vince jumped, practically hyperventilating.

"Okay, it's okay, it's me, it's just me. You're all right, I've got you." Howard rocked Vince soothingly, stroking his hair and whispering words of comfort into his ear.

Vince buried his face in Howard's neck, shaking and taking in huge lungfulls of air.

"Howard?"

"Shhh, it's okay, little man. You're safe."

"Y-you're really here?"

Howard frowned and pulled back to look at Vince's face.

"Of course I am, sweetheart. What were you dreaming about?"

Vince shook his head, embarrassed now he was properly awake, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand.

"S'nuffin. Doesn't matter." He gave Howard a watery smile and leant in to peck his lips. "I'm fine now."

Howard, however, wasn't convinced. It wasn't the first time he'd woken up to find Vince thrashing about in the midst of a nightmare, but he was usually able to settle him again before he woke up.

"It obviously **does **matter. Come on, now. You can tell me, can't you?"

Vince shook his head again. "No – because you'll get mad at me." He shuffled back down and rolled onto his side, facing away from Howard.

Howard instantly pulled him back up, cupping Vince's face in his hands and holding him there so he couldn't move.

"Why on earth would I get mad? It's not like you can control your dreams, is it?"

"No. I just -"

"What?" Howard asked gently, taking hold of Vince's hand. "What is it?"

Vince sighed, and turned away so wouldn't be able to see the look on Howard's face when he told him. "I keep -" he hung his head. "I keep dreaming of when I ran in on your wedding, and you..." he trailed off, not particularly keen on carrying on. Besides, it wasn't like Howard didn't know.

"Oh, Vince." Howard wrapped his arms around him, eyes watering, and pulled him close. "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," Vince sniffed, bringing a hand up to Howard's face. "I thought you'd be angry with me."

Howard gave him a small smile. "Never. You wouldn't be having these dreams in the first place if I hadn't -"

Vince cut him off with a finger to his lips. "Stop it." He removed the finger and replaced it with his mouth, kissing Howard softly and reassuringly.

Howard hugged him tight and leant back on the bed with him. "Best get some sleep, yeah? You don't want to fall asleep on stage tomorrow, do you?"

Vince smiled. "Are you resisting me, Howard Moon?"

Howard chuckled. "As if."

xxxx

When Howard awoke next, it was to dazzling sunlight and a peaceful smile on his partner's face. Grinning wickedly to himself, he decided to give Vince a wake-up call he wouldn't forget in a hurry, as well as make up for his nightmare at the same time. Moving carefully, he pulled the duvet away from Vince's body, pausing for a second as Vince wriggled in his sleep. When he settled again, Howard gently parted his legs and moved between them, glad that Vince was already naked and he didn't have to fight with any clothing. He kissed the inside of Vince's thighs until he saw that familiar stirring, and he moved his head up to lick it slowly, base to tip, running his tongue round and round and leaving shiny wet trails, before taking him fully into his mouth and sucking languorously, tasting every bit of him and grinning again as Vince moaned in his sleep, his hips lifting at the contact. Howard carried on his ministrations, and soon felt Vince coming close to release.

"H-Howard!"

Howard smiled, glad Vince was finally awake, and he hummed around him, digging his fingers into the smaller man's thighs.

Vince gasped, hands flying to Howard's hair and tugging gently but firmly, his release finally coming with a loud cry, and Howard briefly hoped that Naboo and Bollo weren't around to hear it. Not that Vince was **ever **quiet. But that just made Howard feel good, because it meant Vince was enjoying himself – and Howard aimed to please.

"Morning, little man," Howard grinned, sliding up Vince's body and pressing a kiss to his lips. He went to pull away, but Vince held him there, not willing to lose the contact just yet.

"Morning," he mumbled into Howard's mouth, unable to stop himself from smiling widely against him.

Howard took the opportunity to nibble Vince's bottom lip and slide his tongue across it, and Vince giggled.

"You're unbelievable, do you know that?"

Howard smirked. "So I've been told."

"Mmm, and cheeky too." Vince sat up, stretched his arms above his head, and yawned. "Be a good boy and you can wake me up like that **every **morning."

That earned him a soft thwack to the head with a pillow.

xxxx

"Howard?!"

"What?!"

Vince came stumbling out of the bedroom, one shoe on, looking flustered.

"Have you seen my other silver boot?"

Howard shook his head. "Can't you just wear another pair?"

Vince looked at him like he'd just said the most ridiculous thing in the world. He blinked at him a couple of times, then turned to Naboo and Bollo and directed the question at them, again getting a 'no' in return.

Howard sighed and put down the paper he'd been reading. "I'll help you look for it."

Ten minutes later, Howard finally found Vince's Chelsea boot underneath a t-shirt, lodged between the radiator and wardrobe, and held it out to his grinning partner.

"Hmm, **now **I remember what happened to it," Vince said, as he remembered the day Howard had got back from New York, and the hurry they'd been in too... well.

Howard couldn't help but smile back. "Hurry up – you've got to go soon."

xxxx

Backstage at the club, Vince wandered around nervously, clutching a bottle of water and repeatedly running a hand through his dark locks, making it stick up at all angles. As he was given his five minute call, he turned to the mirror to study his reflection, smoothing his hair down and checking his outfit – grey drainpipes tucked into silver boots, a pink t-shirt with neon yellow and green splatters down the front, and a printed scarf around his neck. Okay, so he looked good – **hot **even – but that wouldn't make any difference if he messed up in front of Howard. He took a few deep breaths to steady himself, and waited patiently on an old sofa, waiting for his call. Other comics walked passed him, but he didn't feel like striking up a conversation with anyone – he was too busy trying to keep his head together.

Still, he hoped the bright lights and the cheer of the crowd would be enough to distract him.

**If** they cheered.

Vince gave himself a mental smack and pulled himself together. He'd go out there and give it his all, like he always did.

xxxx

Howard was just as nervous as he sat on table near the front of the club with Naboo and Bollo. Vince had forbid him from sitting right at the front, afraid he would catch his eye straight away and lose his train of thought. Howard was just glad to be there at all, and he felt an immense pride as Vince, who was last on the bill, was finally introduced to the stage, bounding on with tireless energy, his grin lighting up the whole room as he greeted the audience, the applause – Howard's included - almost deafening. He was certainly popular, but then, Howard had never doubted it.

"At last," Naboo said. "That other guy was a complete ball bag."

Bollo grunted in agreement as Howard waved a hand at the tiny shaman to shush him.

xxxx

Vince swung his mic lead around him and walked to the centre of the stage, running a hand through his hair. So far, it was going really well, and once out there, he'd actually found the atmosphere to be rather comforting and inspiring all at the same time.

Now, he was on a roll.

"I hate prawns, I hate them. But what I hate more than prawns is people who don't understand **why **I hate prawns." Vince, now knowing exactly where Howard was sitting, felt brave enough to look over at him and give him a wink. Some of the audience members turned to looked behind them, but Vince was already continuing. "They're the weirdest people in the world. You know when you sort of go – they go, 'do you like prawns? everyone likes prawns', and you go 'ehhhhhhhh'. You make that noise that a bear makes when he wants to make love to his bear wife, but they're in separate cages, 'ehhhhhhhh'." Vince waved his arms in the air as an impression of the sexually frustrated bear. "And he's thinking 'I'll never get through these steel bars, ehhhhhh!' You know when you go round someone's house, and they go 'we're having prawns, is that ok?' and you go 'ehhhhhh, I want to fuck my wife, my bear wife', and they go 'what?' and you go 'oh, sorry, nothin''."

Vince gave a shifty look, and the audience laughed loudly, making him feel even better.

"I **hate **prawns, and you know, the other thing that's really annoying - when you don't like prawns, people go to you, they go 'Wh -what, just try one, just try a prawn'. 'I'm in my fucking thirties, of course I've tried them'. 'Just have a taste!' 'That's the bit I don't like! It's not their height. It's not the width of them that I've got a problem with – if they were stockier, I 'd be popping 'em down like they were chocolate.' Unbelievable. You know, actually, it's not just the taste, it's the whole package. 'Cause the thing about prawns is they're 'orrible. When they're on a plate and it's like king prawns – it's like a sort of – it's like a yoga meeting. They're all in different positions. There's one pointing, there's sort of two doin' the wheelbarra like 'It's a Knockout'," Vince demonstrated these positions, much to the crowd's approval. "There's one on their back like that -" Vince leant back and struck a pose, "like he's in a catalogue. If it's king prawns you have to eat the throat – it's horrible. You have to eat 'em all – the eyes, the cheekbones, the belt... urgh. When I eat prawns, basically, to me, it's basically like I'm eating a really small man in a pink leotard wearing ray-bans. I pick them up and I go, 'oh, Thom Yorke. I quite liked Kid A, I'm sorry'."

An audience member at the front interrupted him by shouting; "No!!"

Vince laughed. "No! Not Thom Yorke! Don't eat Thom Yorke! Come on, Thom Yorke looks like a fucking prawn, who's gonna deny that? I love Thom Yorke, and I love the fact he looks like a prawn. But - he does look like a prawn, come on."

Vince laughed again and caught Howard's eye, who was grinning at him proudly. Vince grinned back.

xxxx

"I think the only existing magic that remains is whispering. Whispering is pretty fucking powerful, 'cause think about it, yeah? If you whisper to someone, they have to whisper back at you, it's just the way it is. You go to someone, 'oi, mate, come over 'ere', there's no way they can go 'WHAT?' you're just not allowed to do that, it's like an unwritten law. If you go 'mate, come over 'ere', they have to go," Vince dropped his voice to a whisper, "'why, what is it?' And even better than that, if they're a long way away, they have to tiptoe towards ya. 'Oi, mate, come 'ere', 'why? hang on a sec, I'll take me shoes off'." Vince mimed taking his shoes off and tiptoed across the stage. "'what is it?' 'there's a dead gorilla at the ice rink'. 'No way!' 'Yeah! He's got skates on and everythin'', 'what, hired skates or his own?' 'I don't fucking know! That's not really the point, is it? Point is, there's a dead gorilla at the ice rink, not what sort of skates he's got on'."

Vince chuckled in reaction to the audience's laughter. "The reason I know it's magic, is because I live in Hackney, and 'cause I basically –" There was a cheer from somewhere in the crowd, and Vince looked towards where it had come from. "Don't cheer Hackney – that's the loneliest cheer in the world. 'Yeahhhhh! oooohhhhh, I got bitten by something.' Hackney is bullshit, don't cheer Hackney. Because I live there – 'cause, basically, I dress like a transsexual - I'm used to getting into fights every single day with chavs, **every** day. It'd be like... they hate me, and one time I was about to get mugged, because I looked particularly camp – I was probably in my glitter-ball suit being a dick to be fair – and these chavs, they sort of surrounded me, and this chav got out his flickerty knife – is it a flick knife or a flickerty knife?"

The crowd giggled, and someone shouted out 'flick knife!'.

"Well, I call it a flickerty knife, 'cause flick knife sounds quite hard, 'cause if it was called 'flickerty knife' no one would own one, 'we've got the rockabillies and their flickerty knives!' 'no, we don't use them mate, we don't use them!'. And, basically, these chav came up to me with his flickerty knife, and he went like this," Vince mimed pulling out a knife, "and I'm sure he got it out wrong and hurt his thumb, but because he's a chav he couldn't admit it; he went 'kerchhhe'" Vince did a 'knife' sound, pulling a face as he pretended to stab his thumb. "'I think you're holding that the wrong way round', 'no! I like it like that', 'yeah, but you're givin' yerself stigmata', 'no! this is – how it works.' They were gonna get me, definitely, 'cause I was dressed as fucking Johnny Thunders and they hated me, and they all had gussets down to about there," Vince swept his hand under his legs near the floor. "I swear they had a centimetre of light under their gussets, it was amazing – they were like cat-flaps, it was genius. There were cats going into them going, 'this is my house, isn't it? Oh, no, there it is... there it is. Oh, no, there it is', and I was going 'this is a mugging situation, could you just get out the way'." Vince kicked a leg up into the air as he pretended to boot the cat. "Unbelievable. And this guy with his flickerty knife, went like this, yeah," Vince held an arm up, pretending to hold the knife, "and I swear, he came down like that," Vince swung his arm down. "He was gonna stab me, and right at the last minute, I went," he dropped his voice to a whisper again. "'Oi, mate, you won't believe it', and he went 'what?'" He mimed putting the knife away. "I went, 'there's a dead gorilla at the ice rink'. 'No way! 'ere, John, dead gorilla at the ice rink,' and his mate was kicking in a phone booth like that," Vince kicked his leg out again, "and he went 'really? I'll just do this in me socks'" he pretended to take his shoes off and then continued to kick. "Were they his own skates? or were they hired?'"

The audience, who had been in hysterics the whole way through, cheered loudly.

Vince inwardly sighed with relief.

xxxx

Vince was assaulted by Howard as soon as he came out from backstage and made his way through the hoards of people as they continued the night by downing the contents of the bar and dancing on the tables. Howard swung him round and placed a smacker on his lips.

"You were amazing! Just brilliant!"

Vince blushed and smiled shyly, "really?"

Howard grinned. "Really. I'm so proud of you."

Vince hugged him. "I'm glad you were here. And sorry if I swore too much. It kind of gets away from me up there."

Howard looked at him sternly, but then ended up laughing instead.

"Vince did good. Laughed so much that Naboo had to slap Bollo on back."

The gorilla received a playful punch on the arm from the electro-comic.

"Yeah, well, you were wheezing all over me," Naboo said, rolling his eyes.

Howard pulled Vince over to the bar, still grinning stupidly. "Drink?"

Vince pulled back on Howard's arm. "Actually, I was thinking... early night?" He smiled suggestively at the jazz maverick, who suddenly looked flushed. Vince took his hand and pulled him through the crowd towards the door, leaving behind Naboo and Bollo as they hastily made their escape.


	18. Almost There

**A/N: I was going to make this chapter a really long one which included the wedding, but I decided to split it instead. It's basically just fluff, but I think I know you all well enough now to know that you won't complain! Enjoy, as the next chapter will be the last, and will be coming to you very shortly...**

**I've managed to get my italics to work on NeoOffice now too – look! no more words emphasised in bold! (Apart from this A/N, of course...)**

**xxxx**

Two Months Later

Vince sat on the roof of the flat looking miserable and shaking – partly from the cold and partly from what was going through his head. He just wanted the nightmares to stop, but the closer to the wedding it got the more vivid and intense they became, until he was too scared to go to sleep and too scared to tell Howard because he didn't want to worry him. Vince wrapped is arms around his small frame, tugging the ends of his sleeves over his hands, which was easily done because it was one of Howard's old jumpers and therefore a bit too big for him. He looked out over London, the cities lights glowing brightly, making the capital look like it was on fire. Then he tilted his head up to look at the twinkling stars, thinking how sad it was that the glow from the city dulled them and wondering if he should ask Howard to drive him out to the country one night so he could see them properly. The moon was as big as ever though, and looked particularly close to the earth tonight, and Vince reckoned that if he stood on tiptoe and stretched his arms and fingers out as far as they would go, he might just be about able to touch it. Not that he would ever try – he didn't fancy falling off the roof and going smack into the ground. It was nice to think though, that he could. He wondered what it would feel like, all cool and dusty beneath his fingers. He'd trace patterns and draw pictures in it. The moon had no atmosphere – he knew that much – and therefore no weather system, so they'd just stay there, undisturbed, until man ventured up there again – that is, if they ever came across them. Maybe he'd write a message in the dust too, and pick up a piece of moon rock as a keepsake. Would it glow like the moon? It might do if he put it on the windowsill and let the sun caress it with its yellow rays. Maybe it would act like a sort of solar panel and he could use it as a night-light, or for when he and Howard wanted to create a soft, romantic atmosphere. A star in a jar would be cool too, he pondered, although the sun was a star and it was pretty big, and as you weren't supposed to look directly at it he thought he'd give it a miss, 'cause he didn't fancy going blind and having to spend so much money on sun block. He marvelled for a bit and how huge the universe actually was. If those tiny stars he could see were as big as - or even bigger than - the sun, and there were millions of them, then that made him... well, pretty insignificant actually. He wondered if the universe ever ended and if so, what was beyond that and then what was beyond _that_, and then his head started to hurt form the sheer weight of it all and he decided to scale down his thoughts before his brain exploded. Before he could contemplate anything else however, the skylight banged open and Howard stuck his head out the top, and Vince nearly slid down the roof tiles in alarm.

"Jesus, don't scare me like that!"

Howard offered him an apologetic smile and heaved himself the rest of the way out the window.

"What you doing out here? I was panicking for a bit, you know. Thought you'd run off and left me until I felt the breeze coming down. You all right?" he said, settling next to Vince and dropping an arm around his shoulders.

Vince tried to smile, but it didn't reach his eyes, something Howard noticed straight away.

"I'm fine – just couldn't sleep. All the excitement I s'pose."

"Uh-huh. You been stealing my clothes again?" Howard said, not believing him in the slightest, especially as he knew Vince only stole his jumpers when he himself wasn't there to comfort him or warm him up.

Vince leaned into him, face turned into his neck, and inhaled deeply, letting the familiar scent calm him.

"They keep me warm. It's cosy."

"You wouldn't be cold if you bought proper clothes."

Vince bit at Howard's neck playfully, making the bigger man chuckle softly. "Shut up."

"It's drowning you – you look like a kid who's playing dress-up with his father's clothes. You're too tiny."

"Mmm, I like being tiny," Vince mumbled against him. "_You_ like me being tiny – means you can be all protective. I like that."

"Yeah, well, I suppose you do look rather cute -"

"I like being cute."

" - and there_ is _something appealing about watching your significantly smaller other-half wearing your stuff. It's rather charming, and strangely sexy."

"I like being charming. And I'm always sexy."

Howard snorted. "You're not sexy when you've been woken up too early and you're whining and moaning and shooting me death-stares from under the duvet."

"I am," Vince insisted, closing his eyes as he snuggled closer to Howard's chest.

"I beg to differ, but that's besides the point. You still haven't told me why you're up here at almost three in the morning, looking like the world's about to end."

"I told you. I -"

"Stop." Howard put a finger to Vince's lips, then gently took hold of his chin and tilted his head up to look at him. "You're still having nightmares, aren't you?"

Vince shook his head in what he thought was a convincing way, not realising that his eyes were seriously giving him away. "No."

"You are. I can tell by your eyes that you're lying to me."

Stupid traitorous eyes.

Still, Vince kept trying to insist that that wasn't the case before finally acknowledging that it actually was, because Howard was giving him that look, the sympathetic, guilty look that told Vince Howard was blaming himself, and he couldn't lie to him any longer otherwise that look would break his heart. He sighed deeply.

"They've changed," he said.

Howard looked confused. "What do you mean?"

Vince turned fully in his fiancé's arms and placed his hands on his shoulders. "I mean... it's just..."

Howard pressed a quick, soft kiss to Vince's lips. "What?"

"It's... they're different. They've moved on from... it's not just..." Vince was getting flustered, his eyes watering violently.

"It's okay," Howard whispered, gently caressing Vince's face.

Vince shook his head. "It's not okay. You - you keep getting shot, over and over again, and you keep dying over and over again, and I keep dreaming it over and over again, over and over and over and it won't stop!" He burst into tears and clutched at the collar of Howard's dressing gown, burying his head in the crook of his neck.

"Oh, baby, please don't cry."

"I'm sorry," Vince whimpered.

Howard lowered his head and kissed Vince's face. "Don't be," he said, holding him tight. "You know I'm not going anywhere, don't you? I'll never leave you again."

Vince sobbed, desperately trying to hiccup back his tears. "But you will, won't you? One day, I mean. Or I'll leave you – it's inevitable. And then what'll we do? I can't live without you."

"Hey, hey, hey," Howard soothed, stroking his hair. "Don't, don't do that. Come on now. All this... I think it's just because of the wedding. Neither of us can still quite believe we've got here, and your subconscious is just looking for something to go wrong because of everything that's happened. Once we're married it'll start to get better."

"Will it?"

"Of course. But you have nothing to worry about anyway, because nothing is going to go wrong. Nothing's going to spoil our big day, all right?"

Vince nodded against him and sniffed, and Howard lifted a hand to wipe at the smaller man's eyes. "No more crying, okay? It kills me to see you cry."

"Sorr-"

"No." Howard put a finger to his lips. "No 'sorrys'. You have nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't that long ago. It'll take time. Just – don't hide it from me again."

"I didn't want to worry you."

"I know, but seeing you like this and not knowing why worries me even more. Okay?"

"Okay."

They sat for awhile huddled together on the roof, staring out into the night.

"Howard?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we drive out to the country one night? I want to see the stars properly."

Howard smiled. "Course we can."

xxxx

Vince loved crazy, wild sex with Howard. In fact, he loved any type of sex with Howard. But his favourite, it had to be said, was now, in the morning, when they were all sleepy and the sex was lazy and gentle and hazy. There was no mad rush to tear off each others clothes and start groping at each other like it was the end of everything and it was the last chance they had. It was drawn-out and exploratory, but deeply erotic at the same time because they would both be trying to control themselves from finishing too quickly, drawing it out until the pleasure was unbearable and it produced some of the most amazing orgasms they'd ever experienced.

Vince moaned gently as Howard rolled over and started pressing soft kisses against his neck, followed by delicious flicks of his tongue which turned into shiver-inducing twirls against his skin.

"Morning, beautiful," Howard whispered hotly in his ear, which in turn made Vince shiver again and writhe against the sheets. Vince could feel Howard's erection pushing against his leg, and he turned over to face him, pressing himself to him and making him gasp. Howard continued his assault of Vince's neck, trailing kisses up round the back of it, then back towards his ear – where he paused briefly to blow gently into it, loving the reaction he got – and then round to the front, up to his chin, and then back down towards the patch of skin where his neck met his shoulder, sucking there gently before he slowly began to trail his lips lower, taking his time to kiss, lick and nibble every part of him. Vince shuddered, more violently so when Howard reached his nipple, and melted into a pile of goo against the pillows. He clawed gently at Howard's back and thrust his hips forward, rocking against him and pulling a wonderful moan from his mouth, the friction making them dizzy with desire. Howard moved his mouth back up to capture Vince's lips, drawing in him for a long, lazy, sloppy kiss.

"I can't wait to marry you tomorrow," Vince mumbled against him before capturing Howard's bottom lip gently between his teeth and giving it a little nibble.

Howard smiled and moved his lips to pepper Vince's face with kisses, talking in-between them.

"I. Can't wait. To. Spend. The rest. Of my. Life. With you." He kissed Vince fully again on the mouth. "You do realise this is the last time we'll make love as an unmarried couple?"

"Mmm. Better make it worth my while then," Vince purred into Howard's ear.

Well, really, how could he refuse?

xxxx

Howard nervously checked and then double checked that he had everything. He was spending the night at the hotel he and Vince were getting married in, which also happened to contain every single member of his family. He went over everything in his head. Everything had been paid for, everything had been re-confirmed and everything was ready to go. He still couldn't believe that this time tomorrow he would be married to the love of his life – it still didn't feel real. He knew one thing for certain though – he absolutely could not wait.

Standing at the door, he turned to Vince and kissed him thoroughly, one hand gently cupping his face and the other rubbing up and down his back. He hated spending nights away from Vince – it was bad enough that time he had to go back to New York without him, and he really wished he didn't have to do it again, but Vince had wanted to be traditional and had insisted.

"I'll miss you," Vince said, kissing Howard again as his taxi pulled up outside the shop.

"I'll miss you too."

Vince's eyes welled up. "God – I can't believe it's here already. Everything's gone so fast." He trembled slightly and clutched at Howard's collar.

"I know. But don't worry about a thing – it'll be perfect," Howard said, putting his hands on Vince's shoulders and rubbing them gently.

"I know, it's just... all that organising and suit fittings and choosing rings and table decorations and menus and seating arrangements and flowers and invitations and finding the perfect venue and meetings with the registrar and sorting out music and, and -"

Howard shushed him with his lips. "Nothing. Will. Go. Wrong. I promise."

"No, it's not that. I mean... We're getting married tomorrow. _Tomorrow_. And all that stuff – in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't seem so important now, because what_ really_ matters is that _we _are getting married. And anything and everything could go wrong, but I won't notice any of it as long as I have you with me and we sign that register and I'm made completely yours forever and ever. The world could be falling down around us, but all I'd see is _you_ – and that's all that matters."

Howard blinked back tears and pulled Vince to him. "You're amazing, d'you know that?"

Vince hugged Howard back tightly and then finally, reluctantly, released him with one last kiss. "You'd better go – taxi's waiting."

"Yeah. I love you," Howard said, pressing a kiss to his fiancé's forehead.

"I love you too."

Vince was still standing in the doorway long after the taxi had driven up the road and disappeared round the corner. He eventually moved back indoors, climbing the stairs slowly and coming face to face with his beaming mother as he rounded the top.

"All right, darling?"

Vince gave her a huge hug.


	19. The Beginning of Forever

**A/N: Well, here it is – my final chapter (sob). I can't believe it's over! I really hope you like it and that I've done it justice. I'm going to miss it. When I first started out with this story I had no idea where it was going to go, but I'm pretty pleased with how it ended up. **

**Thank you so much to EVERYONE who reviewed and to all those who will (hopefully!) review in the future. Your support and kind words have been amazing.**

**Special thanks to Hattie, who gave me a list of songs to choose from for Vince and Howard's first dance. In the end I chose 'Chasing Cars' by Snow Patrol, which wasn't actually on the list, but I did use her suggestion of 'Rule the World' by Take That for the last dance. And Hattie's in this chapter too, as Harriet (Hattie had already been taken by Jenna's sister earlier on in the story).**

**Other songs used are: 'Born to Hand Jive' from Grease, 'Let's Dance' by David Bowie and 'I Love Rock 'n Roll' by Joan Jett.**

**Please read onwards for the wedding of the year... Enjoy!**

**xxxx**

Vince stirred under his duvet, protesting sleepily as the morning sunshine burst through the curtains and shone through his eyelids. He stretched languorously and shuffled onto his side, seeking out extra warmth from the body beside him, and he reached out his arm and... Vince opened his eyes and blinked rapidly, frowning as his hand connected with the sheet. Then he realised and sat up with a start.

He was getting married today.

Today!

He shrieked and jumped out of bed, throwing on his kimono dressing gown and running out into the living room, where Naboo and Bollo were making breakfast and arguing over which station to have the radio on.

"I'm getting married today!" Vince squealed, before turning and hurrying off towards the bathroom.

Naboo and Bollo looked at each other and shook their heads.

"Make sure his coffee's decaf, Bollo. That's more than I can handle first thing in the morning." The tiny shaman said, rubbing a hand over his eyes.

In the bathroom, Vince undressed and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water and steam pour over him. He washed his hair meticulously, overdosing on conditioner and massaging every part of his scalp. He was so involved in what he was doing, that he almost didn't hear the door opening.

Almost.

"I'm kinda busy in here!" he called out, annoyed that someone would walk in on him. But then, he knew Naboo and Bollo would never do that, so that could only mean... "Mum!"

"Don't mind me, sweetheart. I just want to brush my teeth."

"Mum, I'm in the shower! Can't you wait?!"

"Oh, Vince – don't be silly. You're my son, I've seen it all before. Besides, you've got the curtain pulled."

"That's not the point!"

Mrs Noir rolled her eyes. "All right, I'll do it in the kitchen. By the way, I still don't understand why you have a gorilla -

"Mum, please!"

"I'm gone!" she trilled, closing the door behind her.

xxxx

"Morning, son," Mr Moon said, as he joined Howard at the breakfast table.

Howard looked up from the piece of toast he was eating and gave him a smile. He knew his father wasn't completely comfortable with the idea of his only son entering into a civil partnership, but at least he was there, trying to be supportive in his own, awkward way. His mother on the other hand, was completely ecstatic. She sailed into the breakfast room seconds after her husband, stooping to give her son a big kiss on the cheek, which he discreetly wiped away with the back of his hand, much to his father's amusement. Well, if she did insist on making them so sloppy...

"How are you feeling, petal? Did you sleep well?"

"Mmm," Howard hummed around his glass as he took a mouthful of orange juice. "Great. I might steal the bed and take it home with me."

"Ooh, I know – it's done wonders for your father's back, hasn't it Alan?"

"Aye, that it has, love."

"Well, I think I'll go and sort myself out," Howard said, moving his chair back and standing up. He wanted to escape before the rest of his family appeared.

"Have you had enough to eat, love?"

"Yes, mum."

"All right, well I'll come check on you in a bit."

Howard sighed inwardly. It wouldn't do well to argue with her – she never listened. But he just wanted to get ready in peace, especially as his nerves were starting to kick in.

He hoped Vince was getting on all right.

Vince.

He smiled.

xxxx

Vince jumped in fright when he saw the huge bouquet of flowers floating up the stairs – until they reached the top and he saw a tiny figure stumbling underneath them.

"Vince!"

Vince rushed over with a huge grin and took the flowers from Naboo's hands. They were stunning – a beautiful exotic bloom of tropical scents and colours.

"Oh, darling, they're gorgeous!" his mother said, coming over to smell them and pulling an envelope from a plastic stick nestled amongst the stems. "Here you go, sweetie. I'll pop them in some water for you."

"Thanks, mum," Vince beamed, opening up the small envelope and taking out the card.

_Vince,_

_I saw these and thought of you, although no flower could be as beautiful as you are – it was the closest I could get! And I know that sounds corny, but if you can't be soppy on your wedding day, when can you?_

_I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you._

_Love forever,_

_Howard xxxx _

_P.S. There's something else for you hidden amongst the flowers._

Vince sniffed and wiped at his eyes, walking over to where his mother was arranging the flowers in a vase. She looked up as he approached.

"Aw, sweetheart," she said, giving him a hug. "Don't start crying – you'll make that pretty face of yours all red and blotchy. I suppose you've come to look for this." She handed him a small box. "At least I know Howard takes good care of you. What more could a mother want?" Mrs Noir kissed her son on the head. "Well, come on then – open it!"

Vince grinned and opened the box. Inside lay a beautiful silver lightening bolt pendant with a small diamond set in the middle of it. Attached was a paper tag which read 'wear me'. His eyes welled up again as he placed the necklace around his neck. His mother leant her head against his shoulder and gave his arms a rub.

"Time to get ready."

xxxx

Howard turned the rare jazz LP Vince had had delivered to him over in his hands, smiling stupidly as he re-read the note that had come with it.

_Hello babes!_

_I had to go through your entire record collection to make sure you didn't already have this – it was torture! _

_To be honest, I didn't know what to get you, because you don't really like shiny things, so I hope it's okay. _

_I'll see you soon – can't wait!_

_I love you._

_Vince xxxxxxxx_

Howard placed the record carefully on the dressing table and went to stand in front of the mirror. He was a bit worried as to what Vince would be wearing, because he had been instructed to wear a pink silk waistcoat and ruche tie with his black morning suit, so they matched. He didn't mind the colour – the shade was quite tolerable - but he really hoped it didn't mean that Vince was going to turn up in a pink suit.

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in!"

"Howard, I have your buttonhole," his mother said, entering the room holding a blushed pink rose in her hand. She paused upon seeing her son. "Oh, look at you! You look so handsome." She gave him a hug.

"Mum, are you crying?"

"No," she sniffed, pulling away and hastily wiping her eyes.

Howard smiled fondly at her. "You gonna pin that on me then?" he said, indicating the flower.

"Oh, yes." She attached the flower to his jacket and stood back to look at him. "Lovely. Listen, I know it's been a hard year, and I know you've done things you're not proud of, and I know at first your father and I were angry, but I see how happy you are with Vince, in a way that is completely different to how I saw you with Jenna, and I know that it's meant to be. Your father's getting there - just give him time."

"I know, mum. Thank you." Howard gave her a kiss. "Time to go."

Mrs Moon nodded. "I love you."

"I love you too, mum."

xxxx

"Right, Vince, we're off!" Naboo called from the living room, smoothing down the red robes he was wearing.

"_Okay, guys! See you there!" _Vince shouted from the bedroom.

Bollo straightened the bow-tie he was wearing. "I've got a good feeling about this."

In the bedroom, still in his dressing gown, Vince was trying to apply his eyeliner, but his hand was shaking and it kept going on wonky. He wiped it off for what seemed like the hundredth time, and tried again.

Mrs Noir smiled softly at her son from across the room and went over to give him a hand. "Here, let me do that," she said, taking the pencil from his fingers. She smoothed a line under each of Vince's eyes and rubbed the kohl in to create a smoky, smudged effect. Vince checked his reflection in the mirror.

"Perfect," he grinned, fluffing up his immaculately styled hair for good measure.

"Now, hurry up and dress. The car will be here soon."

"Mum?"

"Yes, darling?"

"You look beautiful." The compliment earned him a beaming smile.

Twenty minutes later, Vince stepped out into the living room dressed in a fitted cream suit with a matching waistcoat, pale pink shirt and a dark pink tie, and Mrs Noir had a hard time keeping back her tears.

"Oh, mum – don't do that. You'll set me off."

His mother patted at her eyes. "But you look so stunning. I'm so proud of you, and I know your father would be too."

"Really?"

"Of course he would. In fact, I'm sure he'll be looking down on you right now, wishing he could tell you himself."

Vince have her a wobbly smile. "Thanks, mum."

The doorbell rang.

"Oh, wait," Mrs Noir said, picking up a rose from the kitchen table and pinning it to Vince's jacket. "There you go. Ready?"

Vince smiled. "I always have been."

xxxx

"You're shaking," Vince's mother pointed out, rather unhelpfully. They were standing at the door to the ceremony room, waiting for the go ahead to proceed.

Vince took a deep breath and tried to steady himself, his heart leaping when the door in front of him opened and his cousin, Harriet, stuck her head through.

"Oh, you're beautiful!" she exclaimed, smiling at him tenderly. "We're ready for you. And by the way, Howard looks_ gorgeous_ – you're so lucky." She gave Vince a wink and ducked back inside. Two seconds later the double doors were opened fully, and Vince, clutching his mother's arm, stepped through.

The music playing as Vince walked up the aisle was a classical piece Howard had chosen, Pachelbel's Canon in D, but he barely heard it as his eyes fixed on the man in front of him, who was giving him a watery smile and mouthing to him how beautiful he looked. Vince smiled coyly, a pretty blush colouring his cheeks. His mother kissed him and passed his hand over to Howard, who took it and gave it a gentle squeeze.

The ceremony started, the registrar welcoming them on this most glorious autumn day and talking about the commitment Howard and Vince were about to make. Then came their vows. Vince went first, the paper in his hands trembling as he held it out in front of him. He looked down at the words – and suddenly they didn't seem good enough, so he screwed the piece of paper up and placed it on the table in front of them. Howard stared at him in confusion, but relaxed when Vince smiled at him.

"Howard... you're my soul mate. You're the reason I get up every morning - the reason I breathe. I've never imagined having to spend the rest of my life with anyone else, because it's always been you. And I won't just love you until the day I die, I'll love you beyond that – forever. You've made me the happiest man in the world, and I'll never have enough words to tell you just how much you mean to me. When you came back to me, I... I..." Vince choked, struggling to control his emotions. "I remembered how to live again, and that's the greatest gift I've ever been given. I love you."

Howard didn't realise it was possible to love Vince anymore than he already did, but a new rush of adoration swept through him, overwhelming him and making it difficult to breathe. His eyes watered as he looked at his almost-husband, and he cleared his throat, he too abandoning the vows he had written.

"I-I don't think I'll ever stop hating myself for what I did to you. Whenever I look at you, I thank God that I was given a second chance, because I know I don't deserve it. I don't deserve _you_. You're so precious to me, and I nearly ruined it. And that kills me." Howard stopped to take a breath, his eyes on Vince's and the tears he could see running down his face. He reached out to wipe them away. "Now that I have that second chance, everything I do, every day – it'll all be for you. Always. Vince, I love you and I _adore_ you, and I'll never, _ever_, stop. My life is_ you_.You complete me." He gave Vince a watery smile, and the smaller man threw his arms around Howard's neck and kissed him, sobbing slightly against his mouth.

The congregation broke out into applause, and both Mrs Moon and Mrs Noir cried freely, clutching at each other with joyous smiles fixed to their faces. Even Mr Moon was smiling, and Bollo blew his nose loudly into a rather large tissue, much to Naboo's disgust.

Vince and Howard then exchanged rings and signed the register, their parents coming up as witnesses and the photographer snapping pictures of them.

And then that was it.

They were married.

xxxx

The room the reception was being held in was exquisite. Full-length windows stretched down one side of the room, offering the most spectacular views over the River Thames and the city beyond. Pink and cream roses decorated the tables, which were covered in crisp white cloths and surrounded by gold gilt chairs, and white fairy lights had been strung up to create a romantic, magical atmosphere.

Everyone was talking animatedly amongst themselves, Vince and Howard at the top table with their immediate families, stealing kisses and laughing whilst enjoying their dinner and drinking pink champagne.

"By the way, I've promised my cousin a dance with you," Vince said, pointing out Harriet to Howard. "She's taken a bit of a shine to you."

Howard grinned. "Well, you can't really blame her."

"Mmm," Vince agreed, leaning in for another kiss and then taking a swig of his champagne. "I feel like a prince."

"You look like one too," Howard leaned in to whisper in Vince's ear, "and I especially like how tight those trousers are on you, although, I can't wait to get you out of them," he purred, and Vince flushed hotly.

After dinner the speeches were made, much to the delight of the guests, who laughed and clapped and welled up in the appropriate places. To Howard's surprise, his father even stood up and said a few words, finally telling his son how proud he was of him, and Howard stood and hugged him, completely shocked, while his mother beamed at them.

And then came the first dance. The DJ called Howard and Vince to the floor, and they walked out to much cheering, smiling beautifully at each other as they came together, hands clasping and arms going round shoulders, moving in time to the music.

_We'll do it all _

_Everything _

_On our own _

_We don't need _

_Anything _

_Or anyone _

_If I lay here _

_If I just lay here _

_Would you lie with me and just forget the world? _

"I love you so much," Howard murmured against Vince's mouth.

"I love you more."

Howard chuckled. "Don't start that – we'll be here all night." He bent his head down and leant his forehead against Vince's, who smiled up at him prettily.

"I love that smile," Howard said, running his fingers through one side of Vince's hair, causing him to protest weakly.

"Watch it – took me ages to get it like that." Vince caught his husband's hand in his own and pressed a gentle kiss to it. "Thank you."

"What for?"

"For all this. For a perfect day. For being mine."

"Well, the pleasure's all mine."

_I don't quite know _

_How to say _

_How I feel _

_Those three words _

_Are said too much _

_They're not enough _

_If I lay here _

_If I just lay here _

_Would you lie with me and just forget the world? _

Howard fingered the chain around Vince's neck. "It looks good on you."

"It's perfect. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Howard kissed him. "And thank you for my record – sorry you had to go through the 'torture' of rifling through my jazz collection."

Vince laughed and lay his head against Howard's shoulder, sighing contentedly. "You look very handsome, by the way – very suave. I might make you keep the suit."

They swayed together until the end of the song, the track changing and other couples making their way to the floor. Vince was pulled into the embrace of Howard's mother, and Howard was squeezed a bit too tightly by Mrs Noir.

Being early November, the nights were beginning to draw in quickly, and it wasn't long before the sky began to darken, and the room combined with the outside world looked even more amazing. In one part of the room, one of Vince's uncles was playing a drinking game with one of Howard's cousins, Vince's auntie Ruth was singing a bit too loudly and swigging from a bottle of wine, Howard's older sister's children were running around high on fizzy drinks and zooming under tables and round chairs, and Naboo and Bollo were downing shots of tequila at the bar. Members of both families bonded and laughed together, and Harriet finally got her dance with Howard.

"You having a good time?" Howard asked, as he guided her round the dance floor.

Harriet grinned at him, slightly tipsy after one too many glasses of bubbly. "The best. He's loved you forever, you know," she said, tilting her head in Vince's direction, who was deep in conversation with Howard's father.

"Yeah, I know."

"You'll take good care of him, won't you? Otherwise, I _will _hunt you down and I _will _kick your arse. Although, you are quite cute, so I'll be careful of your face."

Howard laughed and Harriet grinned even wider.

"Well, that's me told. But you don't have to worry – he's my whole world."

They finished their dance, Howard giving his new cousin-in-law a gracious kiss on the cheek, and went their separate ways – Harriet to the bar and Howard towards Vince, although he didn't make it because he was commandeered by his sister, Catherine, and pulled into another dance.

An hour or so later and it was time to cut the cake, causing much laughter as Vince and Howard simultaneously shoved a piece into each other's mouths. More guests arrived as the evening wore on, including friends from the jazz club Howard now worked at and people Vince knew from the comedy circuit. The buffet was opened up, people quickly queuing up to grab some much needed nourishment after all the dancing and alcohol that had passed through them and then, much to everyone's drunken delight, the DJ announced that he was splitting the room into two halves – the Londoners and the Northerners – in order to have a dance-off. Some of the older members slunk off to the sides to carry on drinking, but the younger ones stayed happily where they were. Jackets were removed and ties were loosened as the DJ put on 'Born to Hand Jive', the complete cheesiness of it sending everyone into a screaming fit. The north/south ratio, to be honest, was a bit unfair considering where they were. Still, that didn't stop the Yorkshire side from giving it everything they had, but Vince was born to dance, and led his side into a dazzling showdown. Howard, whilst he had no problem slow dancing or having a bit of a boogie when everyone was doing their own thing, had chosen to opt out of the dance-off, fearing he really wouldn't be any good at it. No, he'd leave that to Vince, who really was doing a splendid job and having the time of his life, grinning away like a child. Howard laughed and cheered him on, not caring that he was being a traitor to his own side, and then burst into hysterics when Vince and Harriet shimmed down to the floor, singing along to the 'how low can you go' part and misjudging how close they were to each other, nearly knocking one another over. Vince managed to spin and pull his cousin back up with him before she fell off her heels. Nicely saved. When the song finished those gathered at the sides cheered raucously, and there was much applause and drunken giggling and hugging.

Later, as Howard watched Vince twirling around with a little girl in his arms, who had approached him with a shy smile and asked for a dance, he couldn't help but smile fondly and wonder if their future would involve children – Vince certainly seemed to be at ease with the child, spinning about with her and making her giggle. He'd make a great dad. Vince caught Howard watching him and blew him a kiss. After the dance, Vince set the girl down and walked over to the object of his affections with a silly smile and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Hello."

Howard dropped a kiss onto his head. "Hello. Having fun?"

"Yes. Come and dance with me."

Howard heaved a heavy mock sigh. "Go on then," he said, as 'Let's Dance' started up.

"What's your mum doing to my cousin?" Howard asked in amusement a minute or so later, watching as his mother-in-law told hold of the arms of a rather frightened looking young man and tried to twirl into them.

Vince laughed. "Don't worry, she's just drunk. She always gets like that."

Howard left the floor after the song had finished to get more drinks, and by the time he came back, found Vince and a few other members of his family dancing madly on the tables to 'I Love Rock 'n Roll'. He set the drinks down and happily watched Vince swaying his hips from side to side, thinking that he really ought to take him to bed soon -

"Howard?"

Howard spun round, nearly spilling his beer. "Naboo!"

Naboo looked completely wasted, and he pulled on Howard's arm. "Howard – I knows I Hasn't alwaysh been great to-to you, but I is glad yous back cos Vinsh ish so happy now."

Howard patted his shoulder and looked around for Bollo, and saw he was busy dancing with a pretty girl over near the bar. Just how did he do it?

"Thanks, Naboo."

Naboo gave him a wobbly grin and then turned and tripped, his arms flailing as he fell to the ground. Howard rolled his eyes and pulled him back up, dragging him over to a table.

"Stay," he ordered, and went to fetch Bollo. The gorilla didn't look happy at being disturbed, but he went with Howard anyway, shaking his head when he saw the state Naboo was in.

"Naboo, you idiot. Home," he grunted, picking the tiny shaman up and throwing him unceremoniously over his shoulder. "Good-bye Howard. Make sure Vince has a good time on honeymoon."

"I will. See ya, Bollo."

"Where they going?" Vince said, appearing behind Howard and making him jump.

"Home. Naboo's trashed."

"Why am I not surprised?"

All too soon it was time to take to the floor for the last dance. As 'Rule the World' played, Vince got rather amorous, pressing himself flush against Howard and smiling up at him seductively. By the end of the song, Howard was so desperate to get Vince up to their room that he almost carried him out without saying good-bye to the guests, and, much to his impatience, they had to spend a rather long time thanking everyone for coming before they were finally able to escape. Getting their mothers to let go of them had been especially difficult.

"I've been wanting to get my hands on you all day," Howard growled in Vince's ear as they tripped into their room, pulling at each others shirts, hands wandering everywhere. Vince tipped his head back to give Howard better access to his neck, shivering under the kisses that were being placed there. Then his eyes caught sight of something and he pulled away.

"What is it?" Howard asked, sounding slightly breathless. Then he lifted his head up and saw Vince looking at the bed.

"Did you do this?" Vince asked, stunned.

Howard smiled and wrapped his arms around him from behind, kissing the side of his head. "Like it?"

"I-It's beautiful."

The king-sized bed was covered in rose petals, and on the table next to the window was an ice-bucket containing a bottle of champagne, two crystal flutes sitting next to it. Vince turned in Howard's arms and pushed him backwards so he was up against the door.

"I think we should put the bed to good use, don't you?" he purred, running his hands over Howard's chest and leaning forward to slide his tongue over his lips. "Mmm, you taste good."

Howard moaned and lifted Vince up, carrying him over to the bed and laying him down on the petals, moving over him and showering him with kisses. Vince quickly undid Howard's shirt and tie and chucked them to one side, moving his hands to his belt buckle. Howard pulled Vince up, hands going to his buttons, but Vince stopped him, a sultry smile playing at his lips as he slid off the bed, instructing his husband to stay where he was by waggling a finger at him, keeping eye contact and pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as he slowly, teasingly, undid the buttons on his waistcoat, sliding it off and letting it drop to the floor. Howard watched him lustfully as Vince's tie and shirt came off, his hands running down his flat stomach to the button on his trousers. He popped it open, licking his lips as he slowly slid them down his legs to reveal a tiny pair of silky red boxers, which left practically nothing to the imagination. A predatory growl escaped Howard's throat and he moved forward on the bed. Vince gave him a look to keep him where he was, kicking away his trousers along with his socks as he stepped towards him, breathing heavily as his eyes fell on the very obvious bulge in Howard's trousers.

"Come and get me."

Howard reached out frantically and pulled Vince back down on the bed, removing the rest of his own clothes in record time.

"I think we need to get rid of those - as sexy as they are – don't you?" he said, indicating Vince's red boxers. But instead of removing them with his hands, Howard leant down and took the waistband between his teeth, pulling them down and receiving a gasp from Vince as his erection was freed.

"God, you're exquisite," Howard murmured, kissing his way up Vince's body and making him squirm beneath him, and the smaller man thrust his hips upwards, making Howard laugh softly.

"Impatient, are we?"

"Me? You're the one who – oh!"

"Mmm, my thoughts exactly. Although, maybe I should get you back for teasing me like you did."

"You loved it, and if you're a good boy I'll strip for you more often."

Howard's reply to that was to take Vince into his mouth, making the smaller man cry out in blissful pleasure. He quickly withdrew though, and moved up to kiss Vince on the mouth, silencing his protests.

"Shhh, You were right – I _am_ the impatient one. Now, lift your hips."

Vince giggled and did as he was told, pulling Howard in for a another kiss, one that was all teeth and tongues.

"I love you," he gasped into his mouth.

"I love you," Howard murmured back.

They made love passionately, moaning and crying out and panting against each other. Vince reached up behind his head and wrapped a hand around one of the bars on the headboard, the other running over Howard's back, a sheen of sweat spreading across his forehead, his legs moving to wrap around Howard's waist.

"Vince!" Howard gasped out as the position changed. He freed his hand from Vince's hair and moved it down between them.

"Oh, Howard! Howard, Howard, Howard!

"That's it, come for me, darling."

xxxx

The next morning Vince woke slowly, stretching and smiling sleepily, the sunlight seeping in softly through the curtains. He rubbed at his eyes and then detached himself from Howard's embrace, propping himself up and leaning over him to press his lips to his, gently kissing him awake. Howard stirred, kissing back and opening his eyes. He smiled against Vince's mouth.

"Morning, gorgeous."

"Morning, babe," Vince replied happily, running a finger down Howard's face.

Howard put his arms around him and pulled him back down for a cuddle.

"I'm starving," Vince mumbled into his chest, the tips of his fingers idly tracing patterns over his skin.

"I'll ring down for breakfast in a minute."

"Howard?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you tell me where we're going on our honeymoon now?"

Howard chuckled. "No, I told you – wait and see."

Vince looked up at him and pouted. "Please?"

"We'll be at the airport in a few hours, you'll find out then. It'll be worth it, I promise."

Howard made a noise of gratification when the porter brought up their breakfast and he lifted the lids on the serving trays to reveal a slap-up, full English fry-up. He'd loved the food served at the wedding, but proper, traditional, greasy grub was what he needed now, especially after last night's exertions - not that he was complaining, of course. Last night had been more than amazing, more than mind-blowing, more than -

"What you grinning at?" Vince asked, unable to keep himself from smiling at the look on Howard's face.

"Nothing, love. Sausage?"

xxxx

Vince bounced alongside Howard as the bigger man pushed their luggage trolley through the airport and towards the check-in desk.

"Well?"

"We're nearly at the desk," Howard said, smiling down at him as Vince clutched his arm. He ruffled Vince's hair fondly, which earned him a gentle shove.

Barely seconds later, Vince yelped in surprise as he spotted the screens behind the desk.

"Oh, my God! We're not, are we? Are we? Are we going to Malé? Are we going to the Maldives?"

Howard grinned and Vince jumped on him, throwing his arms round his neck.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! You're amazing."

After check-in, they wandered around the shops in the departure lounge, holding hands and behaving more or less like teenagers. And much later, on a warm beach in the middle of the Indian Ocean, they lay in each others arms watching the most glorious sunset, which cast a beautiful golden light over the honeymooners. The palm trees swayed slightly and the tepid water lapped lazily at the sand. The air smelt hot and exotic, a hint of coconut drifting along on the gentle breeze.

"I could stay here forever," Howard said, and when he turned his head to face Vince, the sight of him took his breath away – raven hair bathed in gold, his skin radiant and glowing and his deep blue eyes electric and luminous. And then Vince smiled at him and Howard wanted to cry.

"What's wrong?" Vince asked, seeing the intensity of Howard's gaze.

Howard let out a shaky breath. "You look like an angel."

Vince visibly blushed, his smile turning shy.

"And... I'm scared that I'll never be able to show you just how much I love you – that I'll never be able to do enough."

Vince raised his eyebrows and brought his hands up to cup Howard's face. "Are you kidding me? We just got _married_,"he said, holding up his hand to flash his ring, "and look at where we are! Howard, I will never doubt your love for me. I know you still think you have of lot of making up to do, but you don't. You don't need to keep trying to show me how much you love me, because I already know – I can see it in your eyes, in the way you look at me, the way you hold me. What more could I possibly want? Now, pour me some more champagne." He grinned and ran a hand affectionately through his partner's tousled brown hair. Howard kissed him.

"Your wish is my command." He poured out two glasses a lifted his in a toast. Vince copied him. "To the beginning of forever."

"The beginning of forever."


End file.
